It has been quite a while since I have spoken to myself...despite the fact that it is very important to me.I ve been stuffing my baggage with keep-sakes...forgetting my survival kit.And now that I choke I ve come back to my living...my home and my asylum...my soliloquy.
I ve never been a person i would be happy to be.Its always been there ...something or the other... short-comings, dilemmas, identity crisis , rust , spooky corners , wilderness, cheap dirt, fear, darker elements.
There are times when i actually think if there is any sane reason i live, a purpose.Invariably every time I fail miserably to spot one.
And there is this other thing I go thru very often, with love and with people.Sometimes I m so full of love and compassion and then there are others when I m stone cold to the self-same people I love soo much.Sometimes I love people around and sometimes I dont.And then times when I m scared , lost and lonely...when I feel like curling up and sleeping into eternity.Sometimes I m a stranger to myself.
All that said therez just one thing I hang on to...my belief in the goodness of people.I believe people are good ...one time or other.That very same thought leads me to believe that may be I m good too!! Yeah I know I sound crazy...I know I m.Everyonez crazy...just in their own ways.
After a real long time I got into this pointless self-talk...I feel the pressure ease-off.I m breathing me...I m myself again ...not as much though:)
Looking forward to the long weekend ...where it will just be I , me and myself...we have so much to talk...for all the times that ve been missed.
Happy weekend folks !!!
5 comments:
Hello there,
It has been a very long time and I think you are so much with your work..... didnt you have any weekends earlier!!?
Yes mam, everyone is crazy in their own ways, crazy about something, someone...... its just that some realize that they are and some dont and when you realize, you either try to improve yourself or just love yourself more for being that crazy person that you are...... I fall in the second catergory. How about you?
Maverick
@Maverick
weekends..I was travelling...mostly.Just the last 3 days of weekend I thot I had for myself.But apparently blew them off.
I m nether crazy about anything or anyone...I m just plain crazy.Finding it tough to make any sense even to me !! Probably this is just a bout of sickness ..I ll come over soon.
I donno me enuf to answer your question ...honestly.
looks like u had a long weekend...... good.... I'm a fan of long weekends, just that I dont get it!! a day is just not enough..
u say u do not know u enough, but reading your posts, looks like u know too much and knowing too much may be that u r lost within wat u know.....there is a study cant remember wat it is, but its about knowing how u know wat u know? sounds crazy isnt it? but thats wat I think u need at for extremious confusious disorder......just a piece of advice....my folks say I give terrific advice, just that I dont follow any of em.....
Maverick
@Maverick
I m too tired to think on your lines now.That gets me worry ...why am I this extremious?
everyone rattles...
i felt reading a Paulo coehlo..
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