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Monday, May 22, 2006

Lost and found !!!

Yesternight I experienced what I would call nothing less than a miracle.
Let me start off with what happened yesterday and then lead you unto my past , where I ve my memories grandized in gold.
Friendships have always been a vital part of my life and more so of me and they will continue to be..

Yesterday, I was very hurt(I owe it to my vulnerability) and decided to perform my self-soothening ritual of blog-hopping , skimming through blogs.Just then , I hit upon a name so familiar , so close to my heart , a name I ve etched in my heart for years.
I was devouring frantically every post of the blog, which I believed was that of my long-last friend , looking for some cue or string to weave back to my school days.
And I had my bounty... it is hers.
What I feel is sheer joy!Oh please...the previous sentence is so poorly understated.Miracles are too great to be bound by words!!

Now, a briefing on why she is so special and her friendship so priceless.
It was my sixth grade and we were best of friends.Then,I was confronted with a choice I had to make : Continue to be ONLY her best-friend else give up that beautiful thing between us for friends I never really made.
I chose to be a friend of all and saw the our togetherness fade into the air.
The pain I felt , the day she left the school , waving bye to every other person except me, the tears that rolled down my cheeks as I weeped silently, hiding myself behind a tree at my school's basket-ball court , just to catch one last sight of her ,everything remains so fresh.

It is more than 12 years since all that happened , and repentance still breezes in leaving me hurt.
I repent for the choice I made , for having given up on a friendship that meant so very much to me.Then,I was not wise enough to understand that possessiveness is just another expression of how much I meant to her and not as I saw , a sign of oppression.
I repent because I gave up on what was meant to stay and grow and unfurl blossoms.

May be our togetherness is still in the air , just where it faded into.May be she will remember me.

May be we will be friends...just what we ought to be...

Friend , if you are reading this, I am really sorry for the choice I made , for the hurt I put you through.

Just the thought that I found you makes me fervently humble to the unimaginable possibilities that life has in store.Now, I do believe in miracles.

Thank you for opening up a beautiful world for me , back then , when we were in our sixth class.

Thank you for helping me believe.

8 comments:

expertdabbler said...

miracle indeed!
its a small world afterall!
what goes around comes around..

btw did u leave a comment in her blog?

Loga said...

I could remember only few things..but I am sorry i could not identify u exactly...tell me more :)

Loga said...

We had a friend called meenakshi rite? u did school project with starch rite?

Risha said...

Yes, we had common friends ...Meenakshi, Saraswathi.Our class teacher was Miss.Jeanne.You were the Yellow's Captain and we went for Craft class together.I used to draw your arts assignments for you.
We used to hold hands and walk(actually you used to get me tagged where ever you went :) )
And you and your sis , Kalyani, if I m not wrong ,learnt Bharatanatyam and you showed me snaps.
Curd rice used to be your favourite.And our 6th standard class was right at the top floor , where we would have to climb the wooden stairs to get to.Our class had huge , rounded , black pillars, where we would lean on and sit to do our maths group work.
We had to walk past the staff room to reach our class.And once you tripped in the stairs on the way back from the auditorium and got hurt.Then, you cried.
Back then your hair was cut really really short.
And you dint have a liking for the not-so-brilliant class-mates.
You were so stern that I shud not talk to Meenakshi and few others and asked me to promise on that.
And when I chose to speak , you stopped talking with me ,left the school in 8th asking Maheshwari and Sarawathi not to give your address or phone no to me, which they dutifully performed :-)
And we had a twins in our class , Andrea and Anita.
Guess this comment is way too clumsily put.

Loga said...

Oh I have been so childish, ya i can remember..sorry i have a poor memory...guess i am not the same as i have been before 12 years..and i still dont remeber telling not give addresses,i m sorry for being so immature, thank God, I have changed a lot nowadays..Nice to know u :)

Risha said...

Me too.
I can see you have really grown up ;-)

Anonymous said...

WOW....What a vivid memory the author possess....
really it reflects the power and will of the respectness towards the early days friendship...

That's why people call the
school-days friendship as "Friendship without any expectation and which will live for long"...

Kudos to Risha.........

Gowri Sankar R said...

Hi. Thanks for the wonderful write up.. I have narrated a similar experience on my blog - http://rgsankar.blogspot.com - do visit it.