Whatz with me...

Itz been quite some days since I ve been away from my blog and not without reasons ( excuses?!) .The best bet would be to limit to just the obvious one - writer's block (laziness?!!)

Now that I ve bounced back I want to put down the stuff I ve been upto over the last couple of weeks.Believe it or not cooking was the in thing then...over the thanks-giving weekend and there after ;) Had friends (mine and his) over for dinner couple of times and I really enjoyed cooking the elaborate course(s). I love cooking :-) If you know me a nd are surprised ...dont be...more than a chore ...cooking is a creative medium...my canvas.I would go on starving rather than cook a regular meal...more so if itz just me.There was also a teeny-weeny slice of Thanks-giving shopping as well.

Last week I was upto some experiments with my spiritual self...getting myself to newer vistas..but looks like old habits die hard.I m more of logic than an open-mind.Still,somehow I m moved by the idea of having a faith so deep and strong enough to move you to tears ; A faith to hang on to when all your hopes have forsaken you.I yearn for an open mind and it remains an yearning.

Last week it was farewell time at office...lotsa people rolled-off.One person I miss a little more than I expected to miss is the Caribou Manager. Sure thing I ve not spoken as much...may be grabbing coffee together and occassional chats was all of my interaction with the guy. It saddens me to see someone else in his seat ...every morning (though the cubical was shared in past as well ...may be the fact that hez not gonna be in).I m thinking of a detour there.

The incident helped my discover that I can never be a contractor, I would be crying from one job to another. I m already starting to miss squistle...hes been my charm for the past several months.Saving my sanity ..not just with work.Times like this remind me:I do have a heart ( a fact I often get dubious of).

I ve become pathetic with my conversations.I ve developed quite a disability with speaking out what I think or feel.I ve an innate filtering system ( one I dint choose) ...either I dont want to sound silly , or vulnerable or opinionated or pathetic. And if ever I want to speak out something from my heart ...I go completely blank for words.And I end up simply smiling.Inside I simply choke.I m so unlike me?!!!!

I ve come to understand that our individual selves are greatly defined by the environment we are put into.When I m back home , I ll be my suny self :) Here itz too cold, I hardly feel like shining thru.

Well, itz the EOD after an exhausting weekend and the only thing I can do is to be done with this post and yawn.I m all tired and sleepy.The errands I ve ahead :-(

Oh did I tell you ..itz all snow here ... and feels like heaven!! Some time over this week I m gonna try walking on the lake behind my house ..itz all frozen :-)

Thatz for now...Ciao !!