On being a stay-at-home mom ...

Not long ago (The day - May 11, 2010) I had a day job. Not the high-flying , big bucks kind but a good one where I went to write code , meet people and keep myself intellectually stimulated(?!!).Ofcourse it fed my sporadic retail pangs.

Being the list-maniac that I am ..I always have a list at hand..to-do , dream list , list of books to read , places to visit , menu to cook.At any point ..a list is imperative.

During my day-job-days I dreamt of things I would do if I were to stay-at-home...free time to spend at my own discretion.It is 8 months since I am a stay-at-home mommy and I review my list.I should say it looks pretty neat!!

*Read - Checked
Love reading books with LO.She reads hers and I read mine.Therez something really nice about reading real books ... warms my heart.

*Bake - Checked
I have always loved baking. I am no pro ..but absolutely love making cookies with chocolate chips for LO. She loves to play with them ..digging the chips out.If some gets into her mouth ..I call that bonus :)

*Unplanned outings - Checked
I like adventures and to me unplanned outings are the civilised kind.The book stores , the pool at the second floor , snail spotting and feeding ... lil cute ones.

*Lazy gazing- Checked
Our house here has a lovely view ...we are on the 12th floor and our unit is road-facing.When we are bored of readin , TV , crayons and just about anything that would keep us busy ...Lazy gazing is what we resort to.We can never have too much of it.We watch tiny people going about their day , cars , trucks, dogs, taxis, street cleaners, gas supply vans,security vans, loading, unloading, movers, children playing on the streets, the unpredictable showers, warm sunsets, starry skies.It feels good to be between heaven and earth.We get a good view of both:) The regular visits from pigeons only adds more fun.

*Fitness routine - Unchecked
I can actually mark this checked.Though I m not into yoga or workout kind ..running around LO ( accelerated with a bowl of food) would burn more cals for sure.

*Travel around - Unchecked
With the way a trip to the 2nd floor is adventure to me ...it is obvious that I am not game for long travels. This item has been put on hold owing to diaper bag and food packing restrictions.

The other unchecked items include dance classes, GMAT prep, language learning, professional certifications.Let them be.

I am enjoying now...every bit of it...filling my days with LO.I see her happiness when we cuddle, laugh, play, sing,read, learn new stuff, fight, watch TV, lazy gaze...just being together.I am living my dream here :)

I know that these are the best days of my life. When I eventually get back to my career ...these moments will make fond memories to cherish as I hustle through the day.

Life is always about choices...and for once I am so damn sure about mine.

I dont like it that way

I am so tempted to slander peole when they try so hard to play smart cookie.I dont like it when someone plays watch-dog or behaviour policing."Thank you for being judgemental, what you ve stated has safely been redirected to toxic trash".

I totally understand that if you are a rotten scum bag ...thatz because you ve been wired that way and I really have no qualms about it.But dont try to shove some muck on me...and no filth please.I dont like it...totally.

wow ...just as I type out this post I realise that what I started out as a narration has turned out to be first person addressing :) Looks like I am heading the slander therapy way!!!

Well,that said i think it will feel really really goooood to spew out whatz on our minds:)

Yet another realization I had is that being lazy does nt make me happy:)

Looking behind my shoulder

With another new year fast approaching I had a quick backward glance.The year has been a challenging one ...truly challenging ...translating to tremendous learning.I took a real bold decision , by which I ve surprised myself.I am just glad I m sticking with it.

No remarkable happenings ... not an eventful year either.

Nothing lost , nothing gained...quite an average year so to speak.

With another month to go ...I might be in for a twist.Thatz the best thing about life...the unpredictability ...the mystery...the surprise.

Even as I hear fears and uncertainitiesn hammmering inside my head , I feel grateful for the beautiful ways in which my life has been blessed.

Life sure is beautiful :)

Words and what they mean

Just as I was mopping the floors today I was thinking about some words ...their meanings and the way I interpret them.Words like 'humility', 'courteous', 'considerate'.I felt that some of them were so similar and somehow I dint want them to be the same. So was trying to give my own interpretation like 'humility' is not being too proud to ask for help.While 'courteous' is being polite enough to offer help , 'considerate' is actually helping without waiting for a response , doing something that needs to be done.

And then out of no-where I said a prayer..."God, help me be humble.But if I have to choose between 'humble' and 'considerate' , help me be considerate."

Phew...whatz with me?!!!!

I am here and I am happy :)

Well...that is that . "I am here and am happy." Honestly, this very moment as I type out this post...I truly understand and cherish the joy of being in present.The bygone moment , the aftermath of now...nothing matters except NOW.Loving it.

About the months that fled by ...those have been so full of experiences and loads of learning.These days I am working hard on taming my temper.Quicker cool-off is what I ve learned to do. I am far far away from where I want to be.

If child psychology interests you "Children : The Challenge" by Rudolf Dreikurs is one awesome read.'t was an accidental pick from a thrift store.But so glad that I did.Reading it second time over to make notes.

Got some reading to do before I hit the sack.

Selamat tidur :)

Change

Change is like trying on a pair of stashed footwear... makes you feel off-balance for a wee while and then ...fits like a charm , warm, welcome and refreshing :)

Unnai pOl Oruvan

My weekdays are very very hectic ...and I prefer them that way. And weekends get by in laying things in place for the week ahead.I am a stickler for good times...and good times are when I get to do things I love - reading , watching movies , sleeping , gardening, baking, whipping up stuff, cleaning, music - listed in no particular order.A minimum of two of these are sure in-thing for weekends.

After catching-up on a hearty nap (of modest 3 hrs), I decided to watch 'Unnai pOl Oruvan' - long pending on my must-watch list.OMG....'awesome' is such an understatement!!! The movie was perfect to the T...the story, cast , screenplay, visuals et all...just everything about it.

There is this thing about people who love their job...not only does it show in their work , but also there is an air of goodness about it.Kamal lives his passion and it sure does show.For the ways in which he makes me a better movie watcher , a better fan ...I am thankful.Kamal, you are truly are an inspiration!!!

On that note , I leave you folks ...wishing you all a great week ahead!!!

Stay smiling...

Womens' Day

I sat down to blog ...then being the person I am ...got lost in the web of yummy , yummy food blogs with pictures that make people drool ...literally.

Coming back to my title, I ve never been anywhere close to being a feminist.Having been treated like a princess ...or tom-boy to be honest , the cherub I am, I ve nt had the oppotunity to get into the mind-set of a feminist.Touch-wood , I am being treated like a fellow human ....not a gurl or lady( gosh...those years?!!) to be more specific.

I am not for exclusivity .I believe it marks the beginning of difference.I like being treated equal or more equal , if that suits ;)

Every person on earth deserves to LIVE their life , to make thier choices , to breathe the air of freedom, dream their dreams ...

If you are a woman reading this post, Happy Womens' Day to you!!!

And if you are the other kind .....give my wishes to the special ladies in your life :)

All you folks out there....sport a smile...life's beautiful.Trust me ...it is.

P.S: I just had the perfect weekend !!!!

Good people and not-so-good happenings

I am not happy today. I am SAD to be more specific….that is SAD in BOLD and italicized. Dint like what I heard from my best friend today. ’Like’ is not the word to use. But I am not bothered. I don’t like the scheme of things , in life , in general. Wish God had things rolling differently..like virtual transportation to another planet or something. I do not like death or anything diminutively close to it. The good people part…well I believe in every one being good…just in different ways, at different times , to different people. But some are extra special, with their goodness overcharged. Wish I knew him. What I missed for so long …I ll miss forever. Good people are meant to be known, understood, befriended, cherished. I did not get to do the first three…but the last …will be forever. I ve not met, but he will certainly be fondly remembered, cherished. I can feel the pain of the people who know him. May they find solace in having known him.

Leh

I have seen you with my eyes closed.
Blue engulfed by land strips or the otherway.
But the entirety filled ...overflowing with calm, poised.
The air must be mostly still, I imagine.
The crystal waters reflect a mind I can only dream of.
Sweet are the unsung melodies and you sure are one.
Leh, when will I hear you?

Need of the hour

My weekend started on Friday and that helped me decoil my frayed nerves.If you are thinking I am into rocket-launching or something...you are sure damn lost.I am pretty much the genre that fumbles when therez a lil more work and then frets when there is none!!!

Well...that was me being too rude with myself. Here comes the better picture: I am the sort of person who does stuff , stands pressure ...workaholic et all thru the week. And then weekend brings along the revelation that my work is not what I want/love to do!!! I think hard about what I like...and then there is too many : to list and prioritize is nearly daunting an effort that I go back to the stink hole.

If I sound irreverent ...dont let your jaw drop..I like being that way as well..once in a while. I ve never been consistent ...not even in being myself !!!Like I said ...'incomprehensible' is the word.

Need of the hour...a life revamp..I would like to let myself be lead by less useful , more meaningful ways ; build on bare essentials; strip away all those meaningless stuff.Enjoy the ride , than hit the gas. Not too much to wish for...but certainly calls for a strong will.Do I have one??!!Wish I knew the answer !!!

It was not a stop ....just a long pause :)

I dont know if people come to this place any more.But this is my den.Music was not here for long.If you thought it is a stop...no... I just hit the pause :)

I am back after my longest hiatus ever...no excuses , no regrets - just know that my days were all sunshine and blue skies ( almost all :) )

That said,I should say I ve changed as a person.I should have changed.Itz over a year and if I dint then I would cease to exist.Well, ceasing then again calls for change!! Feels like I am going over-board...will stop here.

Well time sure has flown by ....some friends lost and regretted for , some gained and thankful for and the others whom I dont know if I have or dont.

Time has become the most precious commodity in my life and I somehow like it this way...my days are more sensible than ever.Then again, there are those days when I am a ball of nerves that I yearn for my sloth suit.

Time out error occured...post terminates here :)