A new beginning ...

This world, where every canine barks its day,
where the feline so busily pry,
where the populus so run the rat-race,
sans an end, a destiny,
into an absolution that is ever-far,
God gives us a reason to live,
a new hope, as an answer to all our mumbled-prayers,
the cure for the world's pain and strife,
a new cry, a new ray ... so pure -
a babe is born.

Wish you all a very happy New year!!!
May the year be filled with lots of love, light and laughter :-)

A snapshot of me...

Itz 12.45 am. and my music is blasting.I want to cut out voices... especially the one screaming within me.Wondering how long I can keep the music going ...

shall I call this a tangy day ?

Today I had lotsa oranges for lunch.One that I just gobbled (wish I dint have to do that...but had to ...owing to non-technical reasons!!) and lots more that I relished.I loooove oranges ...for the happy color it carries,for the scented spray that it sends when I remove the peel...the fibre, the tingling that it does to my olfactory sensors, the tangy taste and for the happy , cheerful fruit it is :-)

Shud call this day ...tangy !!

That apart I will just mention about the "Decorate your workplace" contest that Pk and Monu have vividly portrayed.After a reaaal long time ..it was great team effort...and we won :-) Reminded me of my school days and college days ...when we got a little toooo creative or shud I call it weird :-) ?!!

The storms have ceased at my sea...now I m enjoying the calm and happy that the rough patch is over.Trying to enjoy the missing feeling.Guess itz worth the try.

Somehow now, I think of this:

"If you love something,
Set it free...
If it comes back, it's yours,
If it doesn't, it never was yours...."

And how true it is !!

I m thankful for all the love that remains , all the love that keeps me going , for the love that I ve lost, for all the love that has come back to me ...I really am :-)

A discussion to share

Therez this funny thing about humans( as much as I know), the more the prospects of not getting something, the more is the yearning for it . Be it a material , personal or emotional need, what we donot have we pine over all the more.If only we cherished all that we have life would be sooo much better ...is nt it?

That apart, I had a discussion with nn which I would like to share here ...on this blog:(ofcourse acceptance has been obtained from nn :-) ).

> Hi,
> are you conducting some psychological survey on women or wat?
> But still I choose to answer for two reasons:
> 1.I presume you are a guy whoz set out to understand the fairer lot.And I appreciate your effort.
> 2.May b it will my 2 cents to the women in your life.
> Here you go:
> What is Ur thought on what an average female wants out of a
> relationship? Complete possession ?
My response:
> I believe that
> every woman looks for a sense of belonging in any relationship.Shez
> wired that way.And ofcourse there is an element of possessiveness with
> every woman ...the reason being she puts in so much of her care and
> affection into the relationship that she values.
> What you ve nurtured you find it tough to let go ...right?

Do U feel that women have intimate stuff from past relationships inside their minds which probably do not get out even to the most understanding of partners ?
> My response:
> Letting out intimate stuff and have an understanding partner are two different things.A woman may have stuff from her past relationships on her mind.But may choose to leave them alone becoz they simply might not make sense anymore.
> A most understanding partner shud be ok with it.Is nt it?I believe once a woman loves someone ...itz tough (nearly impossible) to hate that person.What she does with the new relationship is she simply loves or tries to love someone more.What she
has ...she holds in the palm of her heart.

> What is the biggest expectancy in a woman,when she gets involved in a relationship ?
> My response:
> 'Commitment' is the word.

> Quoting nn@xyz.com:
Hi Rish,
> What is Ur thought on what an average female wants out of a
> relationship? Complete possession ? Do U feel that women have intimate stuff from past relationships inside their minds which probably do not get out even to the
most understanding of partners ? What is the biggest expectancy in a woman,when she gets involved in a relationship?
> Whoa... So many questions eh ? Let me see how many get their partners answers)... : )

> NN.

An other kind of ode ...

A quick note:
2 years ago I posted An ode to a friend...(You have to forgive me for the bad indentation ...there simply aint any :-)Lost them during shipment from LiveJournal to here).
Now I have done a follow up on the self-same :-)

Goodbye ...I ll save it for the end;
Where it began we painted the picture with a rosy blend.
The friend you were to me... I thought you deserved an ode,
and that thought I dont repent not this far down the road.
Just when everyday spake the tongue of rainbow hues,
there came the blacks and whites...giving the picture hazy blues.
Special moments drowned in the haunting silences,
we spoke of new terms...freedom,space and independence.
And then appeared the grey spaces and moss,
all that we built with our hands and hearts... went for a toss.
The sunny days are the ones with the past,
Our walks have waned and now not steadfast.
Our paces have started to vary,
when I slow down you scurry.
When I fasten my stead,
you fall back and let me take the lead.
Funny ...how different we think.
When I say there are too many strangers around us,
About making new friends is your buzz.
A smile I smile not to be seen,
looking at you reminds me what I could have been.
But if I were you and you and me were same,
then between us, there would not be as much fun and game.
The time has come for us to seek new avenues,
Now, we are at cross-roads..ahead, we have many rues.
Letz tread our ways in our own pace,
and shine a smile when we meet face-to-face.
So long... so good ..the laughters, good times, sharing and pains,
Letz tell ourselves "Well with life ...nothing remains".

My Madurai trip

Its been quite a while since I been away.

Let me start-off with my trip to Madurai.I believe that therez an innate beauty in simplicity....be it a city, people, food,thinking or life-style.Madurai is a city thatz close to my heart for this reason...simplicity.With 3 years spent in this city and more away from it... my liking has just got better.
This capital of Pandyas has a charm of innocence , apart from the alluring temples, the varied landscapes, lush green fields,
a tantalizing spread of food (which also happens to be low-cost),simple people and their beautiful slang of tamil.

My trip lasted for a little more than 2 days, during which I attempted to drink as much of the city...meeting friends, feeding fishes, rock-climbing(well the not so tough one), temples, jigarthanda(a delicacy very specific to the city), roadttu kadai parotta( Indian roti) ,the closely string madurai malli(a genre of jasmine flower),sungadi sarees, long rides thru the villages, masal vadai and tea from MKU canteen and meeting the people of the land.

The temple tank of Thiruparankundram temple is the my most favourite place on earth. It has been my bodhimaram, den and my asylum...whatever name you give.The place has helped me clear the clouds and gain objectivity when I needed it.I have learnt to hear to my inner voice, as the ripples lapped up against the walls of the tank.Feeding the fishes is more than a mere obsession ...probably it is what is zen for me.For what the place does to me...I simply love it.

Thanks to Niraj, for the early morning drive to Vadivaelpuram.The place is a 20 min ride from Thirunagar and what makes this place special is the beautiful picture the place presents.A small temple with a temple-tank abloom with lotuses , at the foothill of a not-so-big rocky hill.And this entirety surrounded by lush green fields , interspersed with banyan trees.If one gets to go half-way up the mountain and takes a keen look , then one can trace water flowing downstream to the fields.I spent quite some time there feeding the fishes with rice puffs and chap from the village picked a lotus for me from the tank :-)

For a city-bred person like me, with sparse exposure to nature , it was like a small piece of heaven.

I really wish I could narrate my experience as much as I relished it.But then I know I ll miserably fail.

So, I choose to stop here and upload the pics which can do the narration better(well you ve to keep waiting on that...until I gain access to the resouces...but sure I ll do the uploading )

Bye for now.

A smile and a tear

Therez this strange thing about relationships...the ones that go to be a memory , belonging to the past.Each one of them leaves behind moments to cherish or lessons for life.

No relationship really ends...a part of it we carry with us every day and onward,whether it is a familiar phrase instilled in us , a poem shared, a tiff over a bite of chocolate, the name-calling, that silly secret.I believe that this is the way it works.Else we would all be as open as when we started out and as unexposed to goodness or pain.

No, I dont say that with every awry relationship we shrink.It is just that we become a little more prudent about letting people or relationships influence us to the hitch.

I know getting hurt is inevitable, but to hang on to the pain or not is about personal choice.It is simply that I tell myself to give my best to the thing that is in front of me and then, when it is dusk, be happy for the day which gave me the mirth to bask in.A tough one I try to teach myself...but worth it.Life is more complete.

Sure life is beautiful...what else can give me a smile and a tear at the self-same spell of time :-)

Appreciation Day

Today itz Appreciation day at work.What came to my mind was this:

"To those of you who have pushed me, thank you.
Without you I would have fallen.

To those of you who laughed at me, thank you.
Without you I wouldn't have cried.

To those of you who just couldn't love me, thank you.
Without you I wouldn't have known real love.

To those of you who hurt my feelings, thank you.
Without you I wouldn't have felt them.

To those of you who left me lonely, thank you.
Without you I wouldn't have discovered myself.

But it is to those of you who thought I couldn't do it;
It is you I thank the most,
Because without you I wouldn't have tried."

~Author Unknown

A snap-shot of me I

I continue to surprise myself on how gracefully I take my lessons with life .Just that, heart of hearts, I wish I dint have to take them..the real tough ones.Then again ... I know they are good for me. I need to grow , get better , gentler, stronger ...

I know I can rest for a while and then, move on I must.Staying behind is not a choice I give myself.

So move on I will, with my lessons in my heart :-)

Short story 1

Thanks to Ammani,I ve finally took to trying my writing skill.

So, this is lead line for i ask you write - 10:

Somewhere in the dark recess of that wooden cupboard, there is a photo album. And somewhere the middle of the album is a photograph of Vaijayanti. She's leaning against a tree, looking up at something and smiling. What is she looking at? When was this photo taken?

And here is my 50 paise:

Itz more than two decades since that day had met itz dusk , but my memory of it still shines through.Vaiju...the angel-next-door, known as Vaijayanti to the rest of the world , wore a saree for the first time.Not that she was of contemporary or tom-boy make...she was one of those delicate souls who would blush at even the slightest glance.A loud word from her is something I ve not heard of...since our childhood days.

By virtue of my profession I was the chosen one to catch a glimpse of her through my nikon.The damsel, draped in a saree,
toddled her way into my backyard and I zeroed-in on my favourite mango tree for the spot.Smile was her language and she needed no prompting on that .Just when I was done with the shoot , she looked up at the sky and smiled ...she spotted a garudan, an auspicious sight ... an good omen for her marriage under discussion.For me that spelt a beautiful memory etched on my film.

The omen was true - she is curled up in her baby-like sleep , as I flip through the album , on this warm sunday noon.

A lesson for life

We pick up lessons from strange places...the back-seat of an auto, an unfair deal , a spider , a babe ,a tsunami-struck village,a signature line, a stray dog ...well...today I took my lesson from a tramp...one can actually be happy at the road-side, with tattered clothes, measly food and no roof over the head.

A smile so full ...so full of life...I wish I had my cam with me.

I need a flash card of the lesson.

Why I love spaces

Spaces...I ve always loved them.Be it the spaces as in the skies (back then, I was so much of a star-gazer),the spaces in my dwelling place ,the spaces between the words I type, the silence that lives flanking the musical notes or the spaces even in my relationships, for that matter.I love them for their very existence.And even more for the sense they make.Somehow I feel that spaces add more meaning and beauty , with their being so subtle yet so indispensable.

Speaking of my personal space...it has been my den,refuge, asylum ,haven.That is where I lick my wounds, heal them, reminisce good times, reflect or simply stare into the rough country I carry within.The place saves my sanity.

For me, a person is as rich as the people one has in his life.And as I see , my life has been bejeweled by very special people.Love simply grows with giving.The more thatz given ,therez always more to give.Thatz what I believe.

All that said, I still need my space, where even the soul thatz my skin will not have a say.

"Dont hold me too close for I would suffocate", says a would-be doctor.And my thoughts are so much with her.

And I somehow feel we are not alone and that there must be so many out there exalting space.And about those who think otherwise , I simply wonder how they can choke joyfully.

" You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.

You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow."

- Khalil Gibran, The prophet.

Can't-think-of-one syndrome - VI

Today I rode to office in my new bike :-) I am yet to get my head gear.
Inshah allah, the roads were free and I dint bump into a single vehicle!!

But you should ask me how the day went...I had to drag it along , the hours just wont move!!Off-late,itz been issue-filled weeks,not a single day goes by without an issue.The networks go down , services die and jobs abend just when there are nt enough people to handle.With the gloomy day and torrential showers, work is the last thing that comes to my mind.

In cribbing I find solace;
Imagination set me free.

Yesterday, Mr.M reminded me of the 50 things I wanted to do in my life time.I had come up with the list when I was in my college.Guess it is time to revisit it and consider my priorities.

May be I ll share them here when I make time to type them out.

Over tea Karthik hinted on how to find one's passion , the two questions the one needs to ask oneself:
->If you know you are gonna die soon, what would you be doing?
My answer: Call up friends, eat, listen to my favourite numbers, read books, go for a long drive, lie down in my bed and day-dream, trek, play scrabble, TT, dance, walk along the beach, watch a sun-rise, snow-bowl( Actually , I was closing my eyes trying to come up with things I want to do and the very thought that I am gonna die makes my heart thump !!) and finally I ll tell myself ,"Gurl, you ve had all the fun and now its time".

->If money was nt a criteria, what is the interest you would pursue?
My answer: Start an ad agency / fashion-design unit/HR consultancy/counselling center/a creche or a kinder-garden.

Know what, I just cant get any more specific with my answers.I want to do a thousand things !!!Fickle...sometimes I think thatz what I am ...enthused by a spark and blued by a shade of dark.

Can anyone figure out what my passion is?

'The tragedy of Macbeth ' - A joy unto me

"Here's the smell of the blood still: all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand. Oh, oh, oh!"
-Lady Macbeth

I had wanted to put down this quote for a real long time.There is something intriguing about it that brings it back to my mind quite often.May be it is to do with the depth of the character, Lady Macbeth , the way the tragedy has been plotted or the narration of Macbeth by my english teacher ...we saw the characters come alive.

In our 10th class, we had the 'Macbeth' play as written by Shakespeare.It was part of our curriculum and we were required memorize the verses.English classes were fun..we played Macbeth, Duncan, Banquo et al!I still enjoy recollecting some parts of that.

There is this strange beauty in Lady Macbeth , that makes me like her despite her evil intentions.She is so full of love;she is ambitious.She is gentle at heart but dares to take a life.She wins over her dream ; but reality fails her.The love and desperateness that drive her to her success are the self same that sink her.
She fights a lonely battle with herself, within herself and makes her worthy of my sympathies.A beautiful characterization ... one of my favourite.

And a greater joy was to reminisce the classes with like-minded-friends.Nimmi ,a very special friend of mine who fills my days with great 'enthu', knows the entire play of 'Romeo and Juliet'(as written by Shakepeare)by-heart!

Talking about those days brings smiles onto my face.

Memories remain.

And it ran happily ever after...

When I started out, I had told myself that no specifics about my job or projects will go into this blog.

But now something happened and I just cant help sharing it here in my blog.

The project I was working for past 5-6 months came to an official close today and it was one of the pilot projects on SCRUM methodology.

On the onset , we were all whimpering and whining about the new process and the very many meetings happen on a daily basis.But today , everything and everybody made sense.Nothing we cribbed over came to my mind.It seemed like a perfect ending.
Mostly it was the team...I was part of a great team , which made the long hours of work pleasant and work a pleasure.

Every project comes to close, goes live , with or without bugs.What makes a project memorable , more than the technical challenges and logic and business significance , is the rapport,camaraderie and the team-spirit that runs-through.

I am happy I was there , then.

Hoping the project will run fine for long.

Hope the fairy tale continues...

Can't-think-of-one syndrome - V

After another bout of viral infection, I feel too bored to fall sick again.The month that just went by , I had lousy cards to play.Two viral infections, incessant cold attacks, a sprain, acid reflex ...quite a medley and the sporadic production calls to fuel it all.

But..this month kicked off on a real hi:-)

First, I got my new bike , owing to my altruistic nature.I think I can keep the toll at bay , staying behind 2 wheels.Considering my driving expertise , a single wheel (the one they keep rolling with a stick) would be safer!!
Itz all to do with my weird imaginations....just when I drive down a fly-over , I 'll get these eccentric questions onto my frontal: "What if I forgot driving?", "What if I let go of the control?"...and I ll be all wobbles.And then, I am too lazy to keep directions....or may be pre-occupied!!

And then, there was this other time , I was happily humming,smiling and driving ( I was nt emulating anyone!!) that I lost sight of the red .The crazier part was that I gave myself a pat for not jeering at the person who I presumed violated the rules!

Yesterday was my first ride alone...to Landmark and back.I forgot the way back and a cherub of a friend came to my rescue , escorting me to my way back home.Be on the look out for him...he is a rapper in making :)

Jokes apart, I am seriously working on keeping my imagination at bay while driving.

Secondly,after so many years that I dint keep count, I finally got myself a Scrabble board !

Thanks a bunch Herr , for my first game of scrabble :-)

And all you noble souls I know , I invite you over for a game of scrabble.
NOTE: Mandates: patience, generous heart, score-keeping

A new-age professional's survival kit

I was looking at my life and that of folks who sail trhe professional boat with me and when i questioned what are our lives made of,these are the things that blaringly struck me:

* mails (especially the appealing forwards) ,if in S/W
* A camera mobile with pictures we seldom transfer
* Minimum 1 meeting per day
* Wednesday itches (intensity subject to variation)
* Minimum 3 cups of coffee per day
* An average of 3 personal calls per day
* Minimum 2 team lunches per month
* One team building/outing per month.
* Treats for the most inconsequential of reasons.
* Hang-outs with friends over the weekends
* A lucrative pay at the end of the month
* An yearly appraisal to crib / conference over
* Intermittent trips to onsite/campus recruitment
* Occasional pangs of loneliness echoing from the hollow of our lives.

Hippocratian Science is sick :-(

Hippocrates, The father of medicine , laid down the Hippocratic Oath ,as ethical guidelines.

Taking this oath is a rite, as one steps into practicing medicine and it remains so.
When will the medicos give life to it?

Or if making wealth is all these games are about, there are more lucrative jobs.Why mess with medicine , putting priceless lives at stake?

When would this change?Where would it start?

Questions currently pounding my brain:
Why are drugs banned in other countries not banned in India?

How should one choose a doctor or a medical institution?

How are details of banned drugs communicated to the practitioners?

Where does one find details of banned drugs?

Is there any governing authority for periodic inspection of hospitals?

Which one?

So many tablets in front me,
in all shapes and colours I see.
Which one do I gobble,
I just go by "hitsy, bitsy,hobble".

Can't-think-of-one syndrome - IV

I feel light.I m neither happy nor sad.My day is overflowing with chores and I m on my toes.Still, I feel like I have so much time!!!I ll pick up the half-read book that lies under my pillow.Its titled 'Intimacy' , penned by Osho.Osho and I share the same birthday :)

These days, say, for the past one week, I m enjoying a peculiar calm within and a cheer unperturbed by the mundane issues.And for me cheer translates into chirpy.

Over this weekend, I had a great realization :House-keeping is real tough job :-( Keeping an eye on the door, answering calls, keeping count of the number of cooker whistles , not letting the curry charr,dhobi, maid, instructions,paper, milk-man, fixing the menu without repetition (reaal tough brain work...the considerations and criteria to keep) , waterboy , not letting the motor overflow,folding clothes, listing and replenishing exhausted groceries ....gosh ...I need a breather!!!!

Until now, I dint know my house-hold was filled with sooo much action!!!I ve never done any of the chores at home...before stepping into married life.Its always been crisp ironed dresses, warm food and fresh sheets on my bed I ve seen.Probably I was oblivious to the fact that someone was actually running the show...making life easy for me!!

Now, with so much change happening, I continue to surprise myself day-in and day-out!!!My turn to make lives easy for my folks.I give myself a pat for the not-so-bad home-maker I ve blossomed into :-)

Keeping my fingers-crossed that I sustain this spirit through the week.

My humble salutations goes out to all those beautiful home-makers,who with their unspoken ,often-undermined efforts, make lives easy at their house-holds.They sure are domestic angels who make things work and make it seem like magic !!!