Yesterday,I got to file my income tax returns.Kudos to the IT department , they had put up a real good show in place.Evrything was good...the help-desk, service, seating arrangement, food stalls, aeration et all...
Whilst the IT department is making things work at the employee level, puppeting the business class to pay taxes has been far from reach .Who would bell the fattened cats??I m playing an inquisitive on-looker here :-)
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Thursday, July 13, 2006
A thought on marriage
Over tea, Karthik shared this thought and I thought it meant so much sense as to put it down here (ofcourse with my own improvising ).
Dont marry someone for the beauty's sake.
With time, beauty fades.
Dont marry someone for intellect's sake.
With time, you may not feel as good enough.
Dont marry someone for the money.
With time, money may not seem all that important.
Dont marry someone because one is quick-witted.
With time, quick-wits may not seem all that impressive.
Dont marry someone because one seems not-all-that-bad.
With time that can head towards the gorges.
Dont marry someone because you have a time-crunch.
With time, you might feel you could ve waited for eternity.
Dont marry someone because you dont want to hurt someone.
With time, someone would have moved on.
Dont marry someone because you have everything else on your list checked.
With time, you ll know marriage is not just another task to be done with.
Dont marry someone to settle down.
With time, you ll know marriage is not about settling down , but about starting-off.
Dont marry someone because he/she will get you your dreams.
With time, you ll discover that everyone has their own dreams.
If there is so compelling a reason, that you want to marry someone ,
let that reason be so strong that it can stand the test of time, space and adversity.
When you are left with nothing else in this world,
that someone should suffice.
That is how strong your reason should be.
Dont marry someone for the beauty's sake.
With time, beauty fades.
Dont marry someone for intellect's sake.
With time, you may not feel as good enough.
Dont marry someone for the money.
With time, money may not seem all that important.
Dont marry someone because one is quick-witted.
With time, quick-wits may not seem all that impressive.
Dont marry someone because one seems not-all-that-bad.
With time that can head towards the gorges.
Dont marry someone because you have a time-crunch.
With time, you might feel you could ve waited for eternity.
Dont marry someone because you dont want to hurt someone.
With time, someone would have moved on.
Dont marry someone because you have everything else on your list checked.
With time, you ll know marriage is not just another task to be done with.
Dont marry someone to settle down.
With time, you ll know marriage is not about settling down , but about starting-off.
Dont marry someone because he/she will get you your dreams.
With time, you ll discover that everyone has their own dreams.
If there is so compelling a reason, that you want to marry someone ,
let that reason be so strong that it can stand the test of time, space and adversity.
When you are left with nothing else in this world,
that someone should suffice.
That is how strong your reason should be.
Can't-think-of-one syndrome - IV
Sometimes with life , we want to move away from the life we lead and the people who know us really well.The reason is not hatred,disappointment,hurt or pain but just the longing to re-invent our self.Meeting or being with the same people over and again at certain point of time, places a restriction on what we can be or the very many possibilities to our living-self.
They have known you some way for a real long time that when you ve moved away from being the person you used to be , whether by choice to shrink or grow, they just cannot digest.This, though pleasant at certain instances as this, predominantly places a limitation on the person whom we actually grow out to be.
"In order that all men may be taught to speak truth,
it is necessary that all should learn to hear it. "
-Samuel Johnson
This is my quote for the day and what triggered me to think in this direction.
The key is to let go of the image we often create in our minds and fervently hang on to, and accept that which is real and changing.
Some where I read, "Knowledge is not power...but potential power."
They have known you some way for a real long time that when you ve moved away from being the person you used to be , whether by choice to shrink or grow, they just cannot digest.This, though pleasant at certain instances as this, predominantly places a limitation on the person whom we actually grow out to be.
"In order that all men may be taught to speak truth,
it is necessary that all should learn to hear it. "
-Samuel Johnson
This is my quote for the day and what triggered me to think in this direction.
The key is to let go of the image we often create in our minds and fervently hang on to, and accept that which is real and changing.
Some where I read, "Knowledge is not power...but potential power."
Monday, July 10, 2006
On being part-of-the-whole
As I started my day checking my mails...a mail from one brought smiles on my face.The one I m talking about is a friend from college and whatz between us I cannot categorize.It brings smiles on my face.There is the other kind you can count on at every odd time of life.But this one is different ...I know I cannot count on ...just not too much.Neither can I doubt , I m never meant a harm.I m wished the best of life.When I m happy I can expect smiles and when I m sad , sympathies.I can trust with my heart.That is that.
We are a bunch from college ... almost like-minded.In an awkwardly comfortable way, we have defined whatz between us.There is liking and comfort but none too much.Strangely, when space and time set us apart there is a tint of grey that sets in my days.Even in the many meaningless reasons we meet out for a treat , in the point-less ramblings ,the arguments-for-arguments-sake ,plain chatter , silly tiffs, trippings there seems to be a comfort.May be it is being part-of -the -whole, being a bunch, a sense of belonging that knits us together.Many times we think of taking this further...from a bunch to being a team...moving towards some place we can call our common destiny.But the thought remains a thought.
What we ve made until here and now , I dont know what we ve put in.I dont know what we take out.One thing I know is that, that which is there lets us walk our own way and is meant to stay.
We are a bunch from college ... almost like-minded.In an awkwardly comfortable way, we have defined whatz between us.There is liking and comfort but none too much.Strangely, when space and time set us apart there is a tint of grey that sets in my days.Even in the many meaningless reasons we meet out for a treat , in the point-less ramblings ,the arguments-for-arguments-sake ,plain chatter , silly tiffs, trippings there seems to be a comfort.May be it is being part-of -the -whole, being a bunch, a sense of belonging that knits us together.Many times we think of taking this further...from a bunch to being a team...moving towards some place we can call our common destiny.But the thought remains a thought.
What we ve made until here and now , I dont know what we ve put in.I dont know what we take out.One thing I know is that, that which is there lets us walk our own way and is meant to stay.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
On words
I wanted to write this down for a real long time...about words.Not about the ones that we let go.But about the ones that we drown in our hearts.Nothing can injure a relationship or derail life than unspoken words.
It does not happen in a day.Like viruses nibbling on the system's resources...silently , stealthily , day after day, they drink out the juices of life and leave the relationship porous and withering.
No...I m not talking about the over-hyped one-on-one talks that all those relationship-guides kick and scream about.I m talking about simple statements like "What took you so long to call? " , "I m scared", "I need help" , "I thought you would come", "I dint like what you did".
Speak out when you should.
Believe me ...for want of a question , a relationship was lost , a life got derailed.There would be lots more out there.
We are raised with the thought that being expressive is a sign of weakness and vulnerability.More so for guys."Be a man"...what a phrase?!In my terms,nothing is more unmanly to lock thoughts and emotions up .A blank straight face ,what a shame!The very many souls who dont profess their love are but left with a bruised heart and scribblings that they call poems.I know the world is infested with so many of them.This post is for them.
And then there are the others who are eternal sacrifiers...that is how they call themselves.They talk about how they bear the brunt by putting up with a strained relationship,how good they are to the other and how much they are hurt because of that.They are the most disastrous of all.They are neither good to themselves or the other.
Oft we think someway and spell out another, not in deception but many a times with a good intention of not hurting the person across.But then, that is when you are really far far away from the truth.The more you put away a thought , the more fiercely it haunts your days.Someday , some way it will find itz way out.
The best way to be good to someone is to tell them honestly what you feel.
If you can think something...you can speak it.
This is what I ask of you :
Be honest.First ,with yourself and then with the ones whom you dont want to hurt.Respect the fact that you have but one life to live and you deserve to be happy ...as much as the other does.
I ask of me the self-same.
It does not happen in a day.Like viruses nibbling on the system's resources...silently , stealthily , day after day, they drink out the juices of life and leave the relationship porous and withering.
No...I m not talking about the over-hyped one-on-one talks that all those relationship-guides kick and scream about.I m talking about simple statements like "What took you so long to call? " , "I m scared", "I need help" , "I thought you would come", "I dint like what you did".
Speak out when you should.
Believe me ...for want of a question , a relationship was lost , a life got derailed.There would be lots more out there.
We are raised with the thought that being expressive is a sign of weakness and vulnerability.More so for guys."Be a man"...what a phrase?!In my terms,nothing is more unmanly to lock thoughts and emotions up .A blank straight face ,what a shame!The very many souls who dont profess their love are but left with a bruised heart and scribblings that they call poems.I know the world is infested with so many of them.This post is for them.
And then there are the others who are eternal sacrifiers...that is how they call themselves.They talk about how they bear the brunt by putting up with a strained relationship,how good they are to the other and how much they are hurt because of that.They are the most disastrous of all.They are neither good to themselves or the other.
Oft we think someway and spell out another, not in deception but many a times with a good intention of not hurting the person across.But then, that is when you are really far far away from the truth.The more you put away a thought , the more fiercely it haunts your days.Someday , some way it will find itz way out.
The best way to be good to someone is to tell them honestly what you feel.
If you can think something...you can speak it.
This is what I ask of you :
Be honest.First ,with yourself and then with the ones whom you dont want to hurt.Respect the fact that you have but one life to live and you deserve to be happy ...as much as the other does.
I ask of me the self-same.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
You have an answer?
An ideal wife portrayed in sanskrit as:
"Roopekshu lakshmi,
karyeshu mantri,
karmeshu daasi,
bhojyeshu maatha,
shayaneshu veshya,
kshamaya dharitri" ,
which means
that as ideal wife is characterized as bearing the looks of Lakshmi (Hindu Goddess of wealth),a wise counsel in executing tasks,a devout servant in offering service, provides like a mother , a whore in bed and to top it all...is Mother Earth is patience.
If this is about an ideal-wife, what is it for a ideal-husband ?
Tough one ...there..hmm?
P.S: Thanks to pramod - I picked this quote from his orkut profile.
"Roopekshu lakshmi,
karyeshu mantri,
karmeshu daasi,
bhojyeshu maatha,
shayaneshu veshya,
kshamaya dharitri" ,
which means
that as ideal wife is characterized as bearing the looks of Lakshmi (Hindu Goddess of wealth),a wise counsel in executing tasks,a devout servant in offering service, provides like a mother , a whore in bed and to top it all...is Mother Earth is patience.
If this is about an ideal-wife, what is it for a ideal-husband ?
Tough one ...there..hmm?
P.S: Thanks to pramod - I picked this quote from his orkut profile.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Trip to my home-town
Had been to my home-town for a quick break.Trichy has not lost itz charm - the calm environment and the simple people.
Three days of dedicated sluggishness - stuck fervently to the routine of eating, sleeping and watching movies.
The world without CAS(Conditional-Access -System) is so abundant of choices!!!
Listing few things that I clung to on the television and my review:
Conspiracy theory - A faint plot ...well handled
Leave it to Beaver- Another coochy-coochy father-son story
Gia - A piece of life (The movie is actually the life story of Gia , a model)
Spartacus - A historic piece ( Infact I had seen another version of it)
Ed - KG
Vinnukum mannukum - spiced-up filler.
Friends-Season 10 - Entertaining... as always :-)
Got the book that PK had suggested - "What whould I do with my life" by Po Bronson.Started off with it a little.
Discussed stuff with Nimmi...aahhh...sweet old days :-)
The good thing about some special friends is that you can move on with life and then come back and feel like you ve always been in touch.All differences in space and time lose their meaning.Glad that I found one in Nimmi.In fact, I ve a bunch of them :-)
Three days of dedicated sluggishness - stuck fervently to the routine of eating, sleeping and watching movies.
The world without CAS(Conditional-Access -System) is so abundant of choices!!!
Listing few things that I clung to on the television and my review:
Conspiracy theory - A faint plot ...well handled
Leave it to Beaver- Another coochy-coochy father-son story
Gia - A piece of life (The movie is actually the life story of Gia , a model)
Spartacus - A historic piece ( Infact I had seen another version of it)
Ed - KG
Vinnukum mannukum - spiced-up filler.
Friends-Season 10 - Entertaining... as always :-)
Got the book that PK had suggested - "What whould I do with my life" by Po Bronson.Started off with it a little.
Discussed stuff with Nimmi...aahhh...sweet old days :-)
The good thing about some special friends is that you can move on with life and then come back and feel like you ve always been in touch.All differences in space and time lose their meaning.Glad that I found one in Nimmi.In fact, I ve a bunch of them :-)
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Passing thoughts...
We are easy on us when it comes to being good or bad , the standards we set.We always have a mistaken notion that not doing bad is being good.On the contrary, doing good is being good.
On trusting and being trust-worthy,both are closely associated with how happy a person is.The more one is trusting and trust-worthy, the more happy he is.
Thinking in the same line, I somehow feel that it is ok to trust and be at loss than not to trust at-all.
Below is an SMS from a friend on trust.
"Trust should be like the feeling that a one year old baby has.
When you throw him in the air , he laughs.
Because he knows you will catch him."
I ve to teach myself that lesson over again.I know it is a tough one though.
On trusting and being trust-worthy,both are closely associated with how happy a person is.The more one is trusting and trust-worthy, the more happy he is.
Thinking in the same line, I somehow feel that it is ok to trust and be at loss than not to trust at-all.
Below is an SMS from a friend on trust.
"Trust should be like the feeling that a one year old baby has.
When you throw him in the air , he laughs.
Because he knows you will catch him."
I ve to teach myself that lesson over again.I know it is a tough one though.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
A thought born of a mother ...
My unborn child,
I dont know what colour you would be,
but you would be my rainbow.
I dont know what colour you would be,
but you would be my rainbow.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Can't-think-of-one syndrome - III
I m sitting and typing this post right in the middle of the night (my system shows 12.34 am).Until I started typing out this post , I was blog-hopping.Not that I m going bonkers over blogging , just that I am having pangs of sleepless-ness.Itz been a real long day for me infact...the wake ing up before dawn,the work-out, cooking, house-keeping, meetings and tasks...and after all that I am as actively nocturnal as a barn-owl ! (Barn-owls are nocturnal ...aren't they?)
Remembering the days when people who know me envied me for the gift of sleep I had ...I could then put the dormouse to shame , unperturbed by deafening decibels of sound or dreams or what-so-ever.
Time takes its toll.
Nothing remains.
Everything passes.
Sweet slumber...I long for thee.
Remembering the days when people who know me envied me for the gift of sleep I had ...I could then put the dormouse to shame , unperturbed by deafening decibels of sound or dreams or what-so-ever.
Time takes its toll.
Nothing remains.
Everything passes.
Sweet slumber...I long for thee.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Mistaken identity :-)
As I ve typing out my previous post , I heard chirping of birds (just like how it used to be back at my home town) in close vicinity and then I was telling to myself how beautiful life surrounded by nature is.I really was all smiles!
After quite a while it struck me that I had slipped into nostalgia , while my phone was incessantly ringing ...with the "Good morning call" ringtone **LOL**
After quite a while it struck me that I had slipped into nostalgia , while my phone was incessantly ringing ...with the "Good morning call" ringtone **LOL**
Driven blanks...
With just one more exam to go , and that being quite some days away ... here I m back into my blogger bean-bag :-)
I have some wonderful , people who are chO chO chweeet that they make me go blank.Let me narrate ... I had escaped work under the pretext of my exams and my folks here thought that this was just the perfect time to go vacation :-)They with my other chO-chweet folks call up before and after exams wishing me luck (just what I need the most !) and asking me about how I performed .
But...what do I say ... one was a maths paper , which I stand a little chance of clearing ( ...thatz if the evaluator is on earth with the mission of redeeming miserable souls like me ...or the other way around...saving the brutal slaying of numbers )
And for the other theory paper , I prepared ...gulping down mid-night Fanta and munching on anything edible at sight...ofcourse while I studying.
Just when I thought I was prepared and hit the exam center I discovered I had prepared for the wrong paper !!!
Perfect picture."Just what I needed",I told myself ... a challenge to my under-utilized creativity.The rest you know!
On today's exam I hope to have a decent score , well, I had so proactively prepared for it ;-)
One more thing I wanted to share with you is how I met a school-mate of mine at the exam hall , while I was happily scanning the exam crowd (The reason is obvious : I had nothing better to do !!). I hit upon this familiar face and she returned a smile , right across the exam halls (yeah I was in one and she was there in the one rigth opposite mine).
Later , we exchanged plesantaries and numbers and some whoz-where , where n what stuff then asked me if I was the same old hyper , fidgety gurl I used to be ...what do I say ?!
She asked about whether I was in touch with my lost and found friend ...here again ...what do I say?!
P.S:This post rendered after a half-hour tiff with Blogger.
Lesson learnt : Next time around I should pay attention to Blogger's down time!
I have some wonderful , people who are chO chO chweeet that they make me go blank.Let me narrate ... I had escaped work under the pretext of my exams and my folks here thought that this was just the perfect time to go vacation :-)They with my other chO-chweet folks call up before and after exams wishing me luck (just what I need the most !) and asking me about how I performed .
But...what do I say ... one was a maths paper , which I stand a little chance of clearing ( ...thatz if the evaluator is on earth with the mission of redeeming miserable souls like me ...or the other way around...saving the brutal slaying of numbers )
And for the other theory paper , I prepared ...gulping down mid-night Fanta and munching on anything edible at sight...ofcourse while I studying.
Just when I thought I was prepared and hit the exam center I discovered I had prepared for the wrong paper !!!
Perfect picture."Just what I needed",I told myself ... a challenge to my under-utilized creativity.The rest you know!
On today's exam I hope to have a decent score , well, I had so proactively prepared for it ;-)
One more thing I wanted to share with you is how I met a school-mate of mine at the exam hall , while I was happily scanning the exam crowd (The reason is obvious : I had nothing better to do !!). I hit upon this familiar face and she returned a smile , right across the exam halls (yeah I was in one and she was there in the one rigth opposite mine).
Later , we exchanged plesantaries and numbers and some whoz-where , where n what stuff then asked me if I was the same old hyper , fidgety gurl I used to be ...what do I say ?!
She asked about whether I was in touch with my lost and found friend ...here again ...what do I say?!
P.S:This post rendered after a half-hour tiff with Blogger.
Lesson learnt : Next time around I should pay attention to Blogger's down time!
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Can't-think-of-one syndrome - II
Yeah ...yet another time the lame-ness syndrome returns...
This time the symptoms are expressing bold, italicised and what not.I am feeling a mixture of tiredness, sleep-walking and a wee-bit sulky and also a tinge dreamy.In fact I find things around hard to grasp and am experiencing a delay in comprehensing :-(
May be itz the dope :-p...may be the endless-chats,right through the nights, with my door-mouse cousin Tina, who desperately is on the look out to buy a college seat (pray shez in for a good deal), the travelling , cooking and oh I almost forgot...the two movies I had been to over this weekend(One "Pudupaettai" : night show :: bad option :-( If anyone gives me the exact count of the slain ones in the movie I am awarding them a bottle of nice , fresh, juicy blood.The screen was full of slaughter and blood-shed that I was feeling pucky and sticky of blood all-over.Eeek!!The other,"Thiruttu payalae" , seemed so much better after having watched the killer concoction.Infact , the plot was quite new to Tamil cinema and has been handled pretty well.Suchi's voice for Malavika weaves a magic.The climax was realistic and well-picturised), everything added up to the muddled-up me who is hazily typing this post out.This I m doing coz I m too confused to work, I dont want to blow up my code :-)
Well, work keeps me really really busy these days and to add to it I ve my exams comin up .I have to scrimmage for my books , I dont know where on earth they are :-(
The set up I m running must be through by now.Work calls !!
Signing off from cyber space ...
This time the symptoms are expressing bold, italicised and what not.I am feeling a mixture of tiredness, sleep-walking and a wee-bit sulky and also a tinge dreamy.In fact I find things around hard to grasp and am experiencing a delay in comprehensing :-(
May be itz the dope :-p...may be the endless-chats,right through the nights, with my door-mouse cousin Tina, who desperately is on the look out to buy a college seat (pray shez in for a good deal), the travelling , cooking and oh I almost forgot...the two movies I had been to over this weekend(One "Pudupaettai" : night show :: bad option :-( If anyone gives me the exact count of the slain ones in the movie I am awarding them a bottle of nice , fresh, juicy blood.The screen was full of slaughter and blood-shed that I was feeling pucky and sticky of blood all-over.Eeek!!The other,"Thiruttu payalae" , seemed so much better after having watched the killer concoction.Infact , the plot was quite new to Tamil cinema and has been handled pretty well.Suchi's voice for Malavika weaves a magic.The climax was realistic and well-picturised), everything added up to the muddled-up me who is hazily typing this post out.This I m doing coz I m too confused to work, I dont want to blow up my code :-)
Well, work keeps me really really busy these days and to add to it I ve my exams comin up .I have to scrimmage for my books , I dont know where on earth they are :-(
The set up I m running must be through by now.Work calls !!
Signing off from cyber space ...
Monday, May 22, 2006
Lost and found !!!
Yesternight I experienced what I would call nothing less than a miracle.
Let me start off with what happened yesterday and then lead you unto my past , where I ve my memories grandized in gold.
Friendships have always been a vital part of my life and more so of me and they will continue to be..
Yesterday, I was very hurt(I owe it to my vulnerability) and decided to perform my self-soothening ritual of blog-hopping , skimming through blogs.Just then , I hit upon a name so familiar , so close to my heart , a name I ve etched in my heart for years.
I was devouring frantically every post of the blog, which I believed was that of my long-last friend , looking for some cue or string to weave back to my school days.
And I had my bounty... it is hers.
What I feel is sheer joy!Oh please...the previous sentence is so poorly understated.Miracles are too great to be bound by words!!
Now, a briefing on why she is so special and her friendship so priceless.
It was my sixth grade and we were best of friends.Then,I was confronted with a choice I had to make : Continue to be ONLY her best-friend else give up that beautiful thing between us for friends I never really made.
I chose to be a friend of all and saw the our togetherness fade into the air.
The pain I felt , the day she left the school , waving bye to every other person except me, the tears that rolled down my cheeks as I weeped silently, hiding myself behind a tree at my school's basket-ball court , just to catch one last sight of her ,everything remains so fresh.
It is more than 12 years since all that happened , and repentance still breezes in leaving me hurt.
I repent for the choice I made , for having given up on a friendship that meant so very much to me.Then,I was not wise enough to understand that possessiveness is just another expression of how much I meant to her and not as I saw , a sign of oppression.
I repent because I gave up on what was meant to stay and grow and unfurl blossoms.
May be our togetherness is still in the air , just where it faded into.May be she will remember me.
May be we will be friends...just what we ought to be...
Friend , if you are reading this, I am really sorry for the choice I made , for the hurt I put you through.
Just the thought that I found you makes me fervently humble to the unimaginable possibilities that life has in store.Now, I do believe in miracles.
Thank you for opening up a beautiful world for me , back then , when we were in our sixth class.
Thank you for helping me believe.
Let me start off with what happened yesterday and then lead you unto my past , where I ve my memories grandized in gold.
Friendships have always been a vital part of my life and more so of me and they will continue to be..
Yesterday, I was very hurt(I owe it to my vulnerability) and decided to perform my self-soothening ritual of blog-hopping , skimming through blogs.Just then , I hit upon a name so familiar , so close to my heart , a name I ve etched in my heart for years.
I was devouring frantically every post of the blog, which I believed was that of my long-last friend , looking for some cue or string to weave back to my school days.
And I had my bounty... it is hers.
What I feel is sheer joy!Oh please...the previous sentence is so poorly understated.Miracles are too great to be bound by words!!
Now, a briefing on why she is so special and her friendship so priceless.
It was my sixth grade and we were best of friends.Then,I was confronted with a choice I had to make : Continue to be ONLY her best-friend else give up that beautiful thing between us for friends I never really made.
I chose to be a friend of all and saw the our togetherness fade into the air.
The pain I felt , the day she left the school , waving bye to every other person except me, the tears that rolled down my cheeks as I weeped silently, hiding myself behind a tree at my school's basket-ball court , just to catch one last sight of her ,everything remains so fresh.
It is more than 12 years since all that happened , and repentance still breezes in leaving me hurt.
I repent for the choice I made , for having given up on a friendship that meant so very much to me.Then,I was not wise enough to understand that possessiveness is just another expression of how much I meant to her and not as I saw , a sign of oppression.
I repent because I gave up on what was meant to stay and grow and unfurl blossoms.
May be our togetherness is still in the air , just where it faded into.May be she will remember me.
May be we will be friends...just what we ought to be...
Friend , if you are reading this, I am really sorry for the choice I made , for the hurt I put you through.
Just the thought that I found you makes me fervently humble to the unimaginable possibilities that life has in store.Now, I do believe in miracles.
Thank you for opening up a beautiful world for me , back then , when we were in our sixth class.
Thank you for helping me believe.
Lost and not found
If at point of time , you have wondered about the real you, I am just there , in that very spot , leaving my shadow to wonder where it is belongs to.
My shadow , I knew its been there with me , even when I was incapable of seeing it.Whether I ve been there for myself, I dont have an answer.But if there has to be an answer , I would have to say "no".
The very many times I ve deserted my self , grabbed my dreams away, trimmed-off my wings , chained my interests , crucified the self that was so very much me,the spurts of criticisms , I ve to say no.
And then, there had been times when I smiled when I wanted to snob , when I hanged-on when all I wanted was to let go , was angelic when I wanted to be otherwise , was patient whilst I was screaming insides.My self, I know ,is all marred.
Venue:Besant Nagar
The masks I wear in and out , the masks have become my second nature , I handle them with such ease,I can put thespians to shame.
If you ask me why, I dont have an answer.
If you ask me how , I dont know.
If you ask me to show my true face ,I cannot.
I dont remember having one.
May be I lost it even before I knew I had one.
My shadow , I knew its been there with me , even when I was incapable of seeing it.Whether I ve been there for myself, I dont have an answer.But if there has to be an answer , I would have to say "no".
The very many times I ve deserted my self , grabbed my dreams away, trimmed-off my wings , chained my interests , crucified the self that was so very much me,the spurts of criticisms , I ve to say no.
And then, there had been times when I smiled when I wanted to snob , when I hanged-on when all I wanted was to let go , was angelic when I wanted to be otherwise , was patient whilst I was screaming insides.My self, I know ,is all marred.
Venue:Besant Nagar
The masks I wear in and out , the masks have become my second nature , I handle them with such ease,I can put thespians to shame.
If you ask me why, I dont have an answer.
If you ask me how , I dont know.
If you ask me to show my true face ,I cannot.
I dont remember having one.
May be I lost it even before I knew I had one.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
To have is to have not
Over lunch, we discussed about the vary many directions that are being sought , the new avenues being explored and about the desperateness that sets into a list-less mind, that drives it far and beyond.
To have a list, to hold a road map and to have a destiny zeroed-in , is as much a bane as it is otherwise.I see it as a limitation that one draws upon oneself, a narrowing down of possibilities , undermining the generosity of life.
In some strange sense, getting what is wanted stops one from getting what one deserves.What we achieve sets us into a state of complacency that we become oblivious of what we are capable of achieving.
Winning over complacency is one of the toughest things I ve ever attempted.Every day I battle , with my mind for the sword and the soul softened by good-fortune , for my armour.I m simply bruised all over."The war is what matters", I tell myself.
"There are only two tragedies in life:
one is not getting what one wants,
and the other is getting it."
- Oscar Wilde
How true!
To have a list, to hold a road map and to have a destiny zeroed-in , is as much a bane as it is otherwise.I see it as a limitation that one draws upon oneself, a narrowing down of possibilities , undermining the generosity of life.
In some strange sense, getting what is wanted stops one from getting what one deserves.What we achieve sets us into a state of complacency that we become oblivious of what we are capable of achieving.
Winning over complacency is one of the toughest things I ve ever attempted.Every day I battle , with my mind for the sword and the soul softened by good-fortune , for my armour.I m simply bruised all over."The war is what matters", I tell myself.
"There are only two tragedies in life:
one is not getting what one wants,
and the other is getting it."
- Oscar Wilde
How true!
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Can't-think-of-one syndrome - I
If a post of mine bears a title like this one that you are reading , just know that I ve been suffering the 'Can't-think-of-one' syndrome.
I think everyone of us suffers this atleast once in our life-time , whether it is giving a name to the kitten you just adopted, a new born , a blog you egged ,an anonymity you are seeking, an account you want to create or a project that just got kicked-off (just like it did last week :-) ).
The weekend that just went by was packed with pilgrimage.
The trip I thought would be taking me through a rich photo shoot.
Owe it to my E-gnorance ...the whole thing blew up :-(
Dint know quite well how to handle my cam , and the through put turned out to be what I can call digital disasters...save this.
This is a snap from Srirangam temple.
I leave it to you to guess whatz so special about this pic.
..
.
.
.
Just in case if you are as good as me in brain-energy conservation, this is for you:
This is a sculpture on one of the pillars of the prakaars of tghe temple.
Hide the body of the animal to your left and you can see an elephant in full.On hiding the body of the elephant , you will see a cow.
Quite a marvel...what do you say?
Yet another pic I wanted to share is that of the really cute cup of coffee that I had.
Courtesy:Coffee Day,Besant Nagar.
I almost forgot !!!
Yet another snap that was supposed to be here was that of my slender index-finger with a stripe of indigo running right through.But now that the streak of indigo is almost gone , here's a pic of what remains of it :-)
Hope that the newly elected government would execute well their duties as I did :-)
I think everyone of us suffers this atleast once in our life-time , whether it is giving a name to the kitten you just adopted, a new born , a blog you egged ,an anonymity you are seeking, an account you want to create or a project that just got kicked-off (just like it did last week :-) ).
The weekend that just went by was packed with pilgrimage.
The trip I thought would be taking me through a rich photo shoot.
Owe it to my E-gnorance ...the whole thing blew up :-(
Dint know quite well how to handle my cam , and the through put turned out to be what I can call digital disasters...save this.
This is a snap from Srirangam temple.
I leave it to you to guess whatz so special about this pic.
..
.
.
.
Just in case if you are as good as me in brain-energy conservation, this is for you:
This is a sculpture on one of the pillars of the prakaars of tghe temple.
Hide the body of the animal to your left and you can see an elephant in full.On hiding the body of the elephant , you will see a cow.
Quite a marvel...what do you say?
Yet another pic I wanted to share is that of the really cute cup of coffee that I had.
Courtesy:Coffee Day,Besant Nagar.
I almost forgot !!!
Yet another snap that was supposed to be here was that of my slender index-finger with a stripe of indigo running right through.But now that the streak of indigo is almost gone , here's a pic of what remains of it :-)
Hope that the newly elected government would execute well their duties as I did :-)
Friday, April 28, 2006
The elixir of life
I wanted to do it for long ....somehow I just dint get the chance to make it or may be I had not looked enough .I knew it feels great...I ve seen it in the eyes of the one I shall call 'patriot'.He's done it and I ve been there then .
Yeah..there have been many of them who ve had a taste of me ...whether or not I wanted.It hurts.It hurts a lot when you are tasted against your will.But with life and such grimy creatures around...I dint have a choice :-(
But today was different.I had given of myself, a decision arising from my own free-will.If you ask me the name , I cannot tell.Even if you insist I cannot ...the name was the last thing I could think of then.I dint care.
The experience was painful but not as much as I thought it would.Now ,feeling a wee-bit dizzy , or may be itz all in my mind.The warm gushes that left me ..aah I felt good ! Feels like for once I ve done what I ve always wanted to do.
...
..
..
.
.
.
I donated blood ;- )
(If that slimy grey matter sitting slyly inside that hardened cranium of yours painted any thought blue or green...I m all giggles...)
Those grimy creatures that I was talking about ...call them 'mosquitoes' ...mwahh hahha hhaa....
Now for the sensible thing I intend to put down:
You can actually save lives just by parting with a little of your blood.If you intend to, but dont know where (just like I was once), check this out :
indianblooddonors.com
You can also contact Lions Blood line here:
lionsbloodline.com
You can make a difference!
Yeah..there have been many of them who ve had a taste of me ...whether or not I wanted.It hurts.It hurts a lot when you are tasted against your will.But with life and such grimy creatures around...I dint have a choice :-(
But today was different.I had given of myself, a decision arising from my own free-will.If you ask me the name , I cannot tell.Even if you insist I cannot ...the name was the last thing I could think of then.I dint care.
The experience was painful but not as much as I thought it would.Now ,feeling a wee-bit dizzy , or may be itz all in my mind.The warm gushes that left me ..aah I felt good ! Feels like for once I ve done what I ve always wanted to do.
...
..
..
.
.
.
I donated blood ;- )
(If that slimy grey matter sitting slyly inside that hardened cranium of yours painted any thought blue or green...I m all giggles...)
Those grimy creatures that I was talking about ...call them 'mosquitoes' ...mwahh hahha hhaa....
Now for the sensible thing I intend to put down:
You can actually save lives just by parting with a little of your blood.If you intend to, but dont know where (just like I was once), check this out :
indianblooddonors.com
You can also contact Lions Blood line here:
lionsbloodline.com
You can make a difference!
Thursday, April 27, 2006
An itch in the heart
Today as I was heading to work ,a cyclist ahead of me with garlands of roses.
I was trying to imagine the very many destinies the flowers may be heading to.
May be they would reach the sanctorum of the Gods, may be they would be part of a politician's attire or the decorum of a cut-out or joining a departed soul.
Every flower has a destiny ...a day to brighten , a hand to perfume,a spirit to lift , a soul to rise , a bee to feed on.
The choice of its destiny is not with the flower.Why should it be otherwise for us? The very many times we have made hurting decisions ,over-looking people, disregarding things and shutting doors , just to end up realising that those where the doors we were to walk-through , the things to take along and the people who were really meant to stay.
Having a choice to make is such a burden.
Seems like the weather-cocks and the withering flowers are blessed than I am .
I was trying to imagine the very many destinies the flowers may be heading to.
May be they would reach the sanctorum of the Gods, may be they would be part of a politician's attire or the decorum of a cut-out or joining a departed soul.
Every flower has a destiny ...a day to brighten , a hand to perfume,a spirit to lift , a soul to rise , a bee to feed on.
The choice of its destiny is not with the flower.Why should it be otherwise for us? The very many times we have made hurting decisions ,over-looking people, disregarding things and shutting doors , just to end up realising that those where the doors we were to walk-through , the things to take along and the people who were really meant to stay.
Having a choice to make is such a burden.
Seems like the weather-cocks and the withering flowers are blessed than I am .
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