An oft realisation

There is so much of it ...yet so little.
I see it smile thru my teary eyes.
I have soo much of it ...I remember I shud not hold.
To have and not to hold is tough I know.
But the more I hold , the more I ll let go.
It is what is making me smile,
the self-same thing that makes me weep.
The one thing that is my boon and my bane,
that gives me my sense and so also drives me insane.
When tall I stand ..it makes me bow.
Gives me wings , when I hardly know.
There has never been a greater pain;
there has never been a greater joy;
Nothing has ever made me so much a puppet ...a toy.
For all that it does to me and my life,
I love the love thatz breathing life to my life...

The funny thing about life ...or is it me ?

Off-late my life is sooo full...of people , love , experiences and adventure.At the self-same time I suffer a choking vacuum.I really dont know why? Can abundance can grief? I need to think.

Am I broke by love ...the abundance of it ...I dont know that either.Or may be itz the spatial separation that is. I m too trired to think.The only thing that comes to my mind is to get back home ...curl up and sleep.When I feel not-so-good , then i start feeling scared and cold.

I yearn for something I dont know.

An update from the weekend - skiing and more

If you are seeing too many posts in here ...you know ..I ve soo much to share!!!And speaking about the weekend is nothing but imperative!!!

Can you believe ...I did skiing for the first ever time!!! We set out to ski at 8.30 in the morning. Can there be any more valid reason to be up that early on a saturday ? :-)

Therez this place called Afton - state park 7 miles from where we live.And during the winters it open for skiing and during summers for golf.We managed to hit the place just on the last weekend of skiing.

Believe me ... if you want to take a revenge ...buy them a pair of ski- shoes and if you want to reward them...teach them to skii :-)Itz both such a pain and a pleasure.

Each of those boots were sooo heavy ( aprox 5 pounds approx) ...not including the skates.Our ski instructor Tim , with his 40+ yrs of experience , managed to get a bit of skiing into my head.I can stay upright with my skis on :-)

Knowing a bit of balancing and linking the turns took me to a hi. I wanted to move from the slopes to up where the lift takes us . Well that was a bad option ...despite the fact that I enjoyed it.

Down the hill , I was skiing in every other place other than the snow...the woods and the slush and into the barricades.My tumble down the hill wud put all stunt-men to shame. Tumbling is an under-statement ...I cud not come up with another word.The best part is I managed to survive the full episode as one whole piece ...no broken bones!!!

Just as if the skiing episode was not enough...we headed to tubing (2 hours of it) , with which I was pretty much at ease (well ...a 4 yr old kid was!!)

And then 2 games of snow-bowling ..I discovered I ve nt lost my bowling skills.If you are chuckling ...you better not!!I think anything over 100 is decent ...and for the couple of strikes and spares I made :-)

With a rocking saturday like this , you shud know my sunday just went by sober , moaning and limping.It was then I knew I had so many bones and sinew , that can actually hurt !!

But people ...I skiied!!!!

:-)

My Denver Days - II ...The Rockies - Colarado

This trip was the first ever time in my life I hit the roads for a reaaal long drive and I absolutely enjoyed evry minute of it.The Rockies of Colarado are such an amazing sight that they filled with me with sheer awe.

With the weather getting warmer , we spotted anglers here and there , some of them with their mutts.That is what I call ...a worthy chunk of life :-) The warm sun , cool waters , fishing and your best buddy beside...who could ask for anything more ??

Hoping to try my hand in fishing ... I can imagine what subtle pleasure it wud be...

As much I tried to capture the beauty of the Rockies ...I know tried in vain.The beauty is far too over-powering to fit in a frame.

I tried!!!

Rockies


More of Rockies


Colarado River ...frozen and flowing


A glimpse of the country-side


House on a hill-top


Free and wild ...

My Denver Days - I

Life works in strange and beautiful ways and one such road is what lead me to Denver.I headed to Denver for having as much fun and doing things i had only thought in my dreams.What awaited me was not just fun ...but a greater package ...9 loving hearts , with tonnes of warmth and 1 brother whom i had given to space and time and life thought i shud no longer miss.Things i had nt imagined ...not even in my dreams.

Well .. this post series is about my trip to Denver and Colarado Springs ...the places I visited , the things I tried , the adventures i put my self thru and best of all, the young men I met as strangers and parted as buddies.I shall refer to them by their pseudonames as our heroes dont like publicity as much [:p]

They are:

X - My sweet lil' brother .Oh the tiffs and the tussels ..I ll leave them to the past, coz thatz where they belong.I just dont have anything to say except that hez a brother I yearned for all along..and i found him back :-)

Alpha - A level headed guy ...small and smart.A gentleman in a kid's pack.A deep thinker and brilliant young chap.He likes to get just the feel of things ...just about anything under the sun and then stay putt.

Beta - A brainy guy ...also hard-working ( as much as I know !!!) , compassionate , studious guy ...you can call him a warm person...whose mission on earth is to increase global warming.Beta , the world needs your brain keep it working !!!

Raghavan - A versatile person and an ardent Kamal Haasan fan , whoz very keen on eye donation :p A percussion instrument player , palmist , musician and a humorist rolled into one.One who majorly gave me bouts of laughter..itz tough not to laugh when hez around.

Pulikutty (Alias) Ottaeri Nari - A very hard-working and responsible guy who bears on his shoulders more than his share of responsibilities...well experienced at many odd jobs and an excellent driving coach.He deserves more fun with life though.

Romeo - If we all need food , air and water to live ...he needs a mobile.A gentle and calm fella with enduring patience especially when it comes to posing for fotos .Well hez gotta charming smile :-)

Karappanpoochi - Dont ask me the root of his name ...the explanation does nt have a place here.I ve to say hes a very soft spoken , compassionate young man whoz best at lending a helping hand.Very subtle in expressing things.

A.C.P Anbuselvan Alias Sanjay Ramasamy - Well, you really have to cautious with this guy! He may look as lil' too meek and soft spoken ...thatz how well he disguises.A very enthusiatic , naughty , sharp young chap who might take the mollywood by storms.
Hez getting his portfolio done !!

Siddhu - A guy whom i dint get to know as much.One with a philosophical lights on , lost in his own world mostly (my guess is he was busy seeing ...sight seeing to be in specific) and the rest of the time went hi smelling wine [:p] and dozed.Food and sleep are his passion.

Naataamai - I saved up things about this guy till the end coz I ve a lil more than his share to tell.One with a level-head , exorbitant sense of humor ( he owes it to his home town-vaellampaalampatti(CBT) ..hope i got it right), adventure freak and with extra-ordinary people management skills.One brilliant person who awoke the rebel in me ...until i saw his sunshine personality.Truly a gem of a person.His adventures make me go whopping!!!

Now about the places I visited , I ll leave you with the listing now:

1)Aspen Mountains
2)Rockies
3)Pikes Peak
4)Cave of Winds
5)Royal Gorge
6)Garden of Gods.

More posts , pictures and details to follow...See you soon :-)

What would I do over this weekend ?

Well ..I m heading-off to Denver for some authentic fun.Hoping to make loads of them to share with you :-)
Let me tell you a secret ... you know ...this is my first ever flight ALONE. With just my wild imagination for company I already have butterflies in my tummy (not just there!!!) and the whole episode is giving me such a thrill!!! I m as much excited about it though :)
Hope to see you all back here soon( if I dont end up breaking my bones skiing ...dint I tell you thatz on my list ?).
Keeping my fingers crossed ...

Wings and Whacks - Heading to my new den...

Let me be quick about my travel from Atlanta to Minneapolis.This now was a small flight both in size and space ( as in distance).It must have been sub-zero then and I saw a pretty youg gurl walk in shorts , tee and slip ons , relishing her ice-cream!!
My god!!! I would have died of hypothermia.For me walking from the security check to the plane was so much of a challenge ..more so becoz of the winds.
The flight lasted over 2 hours and just whne I was grateful for
the hassle-free travel ( touch wood) ..my baggages were kinds lost and I got them the next noon.Thanks to all the expert advice , my hand luggage stuff helped me survive.
Seeing snow for the first time in my life, the what I felt about it...
thatz something I just cant put down in words.I was a little to excited ...that can
be an under-statement.
The drive from the airport to my apartment (after the sumptuous dinner at Maran's )was a white-carpetted one:)





I ll end this post with a pics of my apartment....well mine is one of these...and each of these is a rear-view(Is nt the view of the rear , a rear view ? :-))

When I looked down from the sky ...

Cotton candy factory



Fleece fields..



A river runs through...



When the clouds, land and ocean met...



View from my window seat :-)

Wings and Whacks - Bonjour Paris, je suis venu ...

French has always been a fascination to me...the language ( with the little I picked up schooling thru college) and the people , for their relaxed way of life and sensuous taste( as much as I ve read of them).

The trip from Delhi to Paris was one worthy of my detest.My self-talk helped me survive.My seat ...I was sandwiched between two french ladies , one of them I was getting higher than we were flying... drowned herself in drinks.The one time she was not drinking she managed to eat the sandwich with the wrapper on and got the yogurt spilt all-over.The best I could do was shut my eyes tight and sleep...

The lady on the other side dint wake up except to eat and I liked her better.She smiled.And when I tried to strike a conversation I knew the French I learnt aint any good . So , I chose to smile back again and that ended the conversation that never happened.

'Expansive'- the word just would not suffice to describe Charles de Gaulle airport. Our flight scheduled at 1.00 was delayed by an hour and we got to spend an hour at terminal E of CDG playing games ( learning ABCD :-) ) The other football game that was there ..I dint get a hang of it.And another game spoke lotsa French than I can take.

The slight thought of getting a bit to munch waned out as we saw them priced in Euros.We decided to stick to the in-flight food.

We alighted the flight to Atlanta and Randy who was sitting next to me was too kool that he offered me his window seat :-)The view of the day sky was simply awesome as we flew over the fleecy, cotton-candy clouds, especially where the clouds peak up life snowy moutains.The experience was very humbling...the thought about the big guy who keeps churning the cotton-candy out.

Randy was much surprised to know that I had nt touched meat anytime in my life and had picked up strange ideas on Hinduism ...that shaving the head and wearing a sheet was Hinduism.The little he knew of Hinduism and India , the more he spoke on , which I chose to ignore.When people donot know something, you can tell them.But when they think they know and that only what they know is right , then I hold my silence.

Through the entire 9 hour flight I kept myself occupied ...reading, drinking the skies , watching a movie ('Marie Antoinette') , updating my journal , reading a book ('How to speak Minnesotan') and filling myself with the food.

Around late in the noon our flight landed in Atlanta , U.S.A.

Well , this post is getting way loo long ..so here I ll say 'Chao!'

Rest in next...