Feel free not to read this ...

This post is not going to make any sense...not that every other post of mine did!!But this is going to be worser than them all.So, feel free to ignore this post.I m just recoring the random thoughts running in my mind.
I love to be mean and vicious.No I dont hate anyone just that I bored.Bored of being good, doing sensible things, things that are expected of me ..all my actions quite predictable.I choose to be predictable...I think I should be good to people in that way, when I am actually churning out thoughts that are actually me, just with-in me.Thoughts, very unpredictable, random, arrogant , annoying, mean , snobbish, rebellious...angry.The thoughts which actually are me, may be not all of me.I do think other ways.
Its quite sometime since I ve felt pain...the kind that would toss me down and snap me.Being through the pain was fun...to get through it, to feel miserable,hope-less, dead and come-back to life ...limping...then walk and then turn around and give the agony a back-ward glance.I liked it when I saw myself through that.I love my scars...in them I m stronger.
These days ...life is fairly predictable, like me.Boring ..like me.Well, if you thought that something bad happened to me and that I m into some kind of depression.You have terribly mistaken.Life is good...too good that its too boring.I m bored of myself.
When ever I meet a simple someone , I feel jealous.I ve, in my haste, ran too fast past that mark.And theres no turning back now.One cannot put the tree back into the seed.I yearn to think simple...without any complexity/weirdity...more towards not to think at all.Just to obey.
I ve to learn humility ...To stomp on the thing called 'ego' and to crumble it, with my own feet.To feel pain , to feel hopeless and bare and too weak to fight and to come in terms with my limitations.
Somehow I feel there are not just good and bad people.But people waiting with all earnesty to be on the other side.May be all are just good people , who have nt had a chance to be mean.Or the other way ...all are just mean people yearning to be good.Being just one of them ...is soo boring , incomplete.Everyone is unique about the way they are good or bad and in that we are all the same.
I m thinking too random and hurriedly for me to record them.I ll stop here.If you dint understand...just dont bother.I dint write to be understood.