Too lazy to think of a title..

If you were my friend, I would walk with you,
rattling every single metal off my mind;
if you were my colleague we could give each other a nod,
And gladly crib about the bugs and looming dead-lines;
if you were my enemy I can brew hatred
and with all evil pleasure , drown you, the beast;
if you were a stranger I would have blown you a smile,
or may be chatted for while;
You are not any of these, but still you haunt my days,
like a dementor , a shadow ... a ghost.
Crawling through my days, casting your darkness
every now and then ,breaking my smile just when it blooms.
No... that just is not what you do...therez more:
Sometimes your goodness scares me ...I fear intentions.
Through your rude words and wrecking comments,
I see care...camouflaged.
There was a time I was scared of you
for the brilliance that you held;
The scare has not changed...just the reason:
You can break me from within.
In bellowing words ....loud and clear,
now I know ...it never was meant to be.
Hidden from prying eyes ,within my secrets walls,
I wish I could mean what I say.
I know I never ever will get there.
I am incapable of hating you...not just you,
anyone for that matter.
If you think I hinted my love saying that,
you are terribly mistaken,
I dont take the same lesson twice;
You made me so...worldy-wise.
Those I love , I see them through my heart,
others ...just through my eyes.
For you , my eyes would do.

P.S: I am at this point of time (I might mean just today), ...numb,in a care-a-damn mind-set , or may be just too tired...one thing for sure I am not ...angry at anyone(self included).This piece is just shot-off from the impatient, restless part of me , may be a stress-buster.If we know each other and you know the weird ways I think ,you should know what to do when I say,"Dont give this a thought".Trust me.This is no tirade.