A little better me

I am trying here ...to be a lil better ...more patient, less demanding, more tolerant, more understanding. There is a cheerfulness pattern to me; when I m with a certain genre of people I beam with cheer, well beyond the grim thoughts welling in me and then there are others with whom even my sunny-self suffers.I dont even know if I view them like they are my Dementors , but luck has it that things majorly goof up , fall-short , just when they are invicinity.I am working to break the pattern.Looks like the pattern is trying me even harder.

That apart, there is some consistency that I m trying to bring to my days and to myself. I ve little dreams I wanna pursue , little places where I want to get to , little moments that I want to make.

The other day I was thinking about dying and what I would miss if I have to die , funny ...there is nothing. May be I ll just ask for a minute or two for a little self-talk and a small thank-you prayer and then lie and smile to sleep.Thatz just the way I feel.

I ll sign off here now ... my thinking is getting water-locked :-)