Yet another new beginning

A quick back-ward glance on the year that went by :
*Quite a few relocations ... Chennai to KL, KL to PJ, PJ to Chennai and finally to our current pit-stop SIN.Being on the move is something I would always dunk into.So, no frown for that one.
*No major pain-points - for which I am humbly thankful.
*No major pinnacles - which requires serious introspection and action.

Well...thatz that.

For the first ever time, as long as I can remember , I slept through as the clock struck 12 on New year's day.

Am I becoming more grounded as a person or am I getting sucked up into mid-life crisis? Somethings are best un-analysed :)

Given yet another opportunity to begin..I ve some resolutions revived...to be more fit , to read a little more,to acquire new skills, to practice more patience and to be more loving and understanding.

Last year I put my career in the back-burner...well, then I turned it off as well. I do remember how I loved going to work not a long while ago.

Now that I have the choice to make a new beginning - I am looking out for work that would be refreshingly new, with lots of people-interaction and something I would look forward to everyday.

Hoping that the year ahead would be a year of prosperity, success, good-health and peace.

Wish you all a great year ahead!!!

Little explorer - part 1

My days are so filled with my LO that I can hardly think beyond her.

I m spending a lot of time engaging her and getting to learn soo much from her.

A few days ago my little explorer made a ingenious discovery ...that Ovals look like 'O':) She insisted that I record the place where she drew the inference from ...she wanted that photographed:)

Honestly..having come this far in life ..it has never hit me anytime that ovals come off 'O'!!!

It amazes me how those little brains think. As LO is getting bigger I m becoming all the more anxious.I donot want to intrude and mess up the ingenuity and curiousity that all kids come with.I totally am starting to believe that non-interference in their thought- process is the best thing to do for them.

And here goes the pic:

Yeah I know I did a lousy job with the clicking.But hey, with my subject on the run, thatz the only shot i could get.

well thatz it for now.

A day to remember

10 November 2011.

I want to remember this day ...for the many things I learnt ...but one reason tops it all.I want to remember it for the moment I had with my ailing grandma.

Sickness and grief teaches us more things than well-being and happiness can.More than teaching , it helps us clear the clutter , re-prioritise, understand and 'realise'.

I want to remember the realisations that I had today, the way my grandma made me feel.I was there to offer her comfort and she was the one comforting me and showering warmth.With her inner strength and abundant love, all things make sense.

I am just so glad I was with her at the hospital today.If not , it would have been the biggest mistake of my life.

Choices that haunt

Some wishes just don't come true... like wishing you did not have certain people in your life, certain relationships you dint forge , certain pain one dint have to go through.

Agreed , life is full of experiences ...or like someone says pain is meant to make us strong...nature's law of over compensation.Why cant life be just party and no pain?

Life is great at other times.Just when I am left just to my thoughts that all those shoven thoughts crawl out from the crevices.Oh , and those people I wish I dint let go. Sometimes life makes me sanely insane ...and other times I do it effortlessly *****sigh******

Well, as it is always...I ve made my choices and I live with them.Looks like decision-making with urim thummim stones would have been safer.

Terribly missing that special someone...

A wisp of fresh air

I suffer from a serious case of indecisiveness.The reason being, there is so much that I want to do!!Well, though "Prioritising" is THE word I should be banking on, I ve a knack to complicate things just for the heck of it. yeah , yeah I know...it is one great big vicious circle that I get sucked in by choice and then, suddenly I forget why things have become haywire.Let me acknowledge that as a manufacturing defect and get back to my wisp of fresh air :)

Yeah ...for not so long a time ( slightly over a year to be approximate) , on and off, I ve been feeling scrunched up in a cocoon, like my existence did not amount to anything useful.Owe it to the dumb idea I picked up somewhere along the line , that having a career means living a purposeful life.I look at my fine piece of work toddling around and bang hit the flash of thought!!! Well, I am now "Enlightened"...well "ENLIGHTENED".Pray I dont lose sight of the light !!!

That said , what follows is a list of things I would be working on , that would help to crank up my not-so-active brain and make my days more meaningful.

-> Catch up with technology and news
-> Read
-> Revive my photography blog
-> Listen to more music
-> Blog more regularly
-> Get one art project for LO everyday
-> Revive my yoga routine

I read your mind, "How on earth does the list amount to more meaningful days?!!!"

Well , it does to me:)

Honestly , all along I ve felt like I ve been living in water , holding my breath.Gosh ,this wisp of fresh air feels so good...getting back to this blog and this fresh thinking that has set in. I just cannot have enough of it.

You have a great life too!!!

Treading the server side

After what feels like aeons , I hit www.theserverside.com and boy that felt so good!!!!

Not that I am a techie ,I just love to know the state of affairs in the tech world.So excited about all the new jargons that ve mustered up.So much to know...

My lil gurl turns 2 very soon and is growing up to be an independent missy.Funny, with her around but a lil afar , I am missing her like I m the toddler and she, the little big person :)

Please excuse if my post is all faltered in language , it has been quite a while since I ve laid my hands on any printed material.But looks like my days are in for a change.Keeping my fingers crossed that I might actually get to do some reading everyday.Crank up my brain bbox agtleast a wee-bit.

With hardly anyone who drops by at my blog, I feel like I am writing to a ghost reader.Nevertheless love the writing...if I may call so.

Not so up-dates

Sneaking into the net is a luxury these days ...and when I manage to type out a post I consider it bonanza :)

Lemme make it quick here...

For the first ever time in my life ...I planted a tree ( as in from scratch).This happened a few days ago.

LO has got a rapidly evolving vocabulary that I fear running out of appropriate books to read to her.She speaks words impromptu ...like 'mommy' and 'beach'. She rattles them so much I get tired of saying , "Yes Kannamma" . Makes me smile though.

Yesternight we were up at 3.00 working on the system , LO and me :) Took some snaps, recorded a brief movie , woke up daddy and then went back to bed feeling elated.Soemone was smiling through gritty teeth ***evil grin***

I hear SOS calls out the room. Time for me to wind up.

TTYL...See ya...

Living on hinges

I move around hinges, you hardly notice.
Sometimes the winds push me hard and I bang to a close.
There are days I get pushed hard so that I shut or shun.
And then the days when I am left wide-open to invite some sun.
Sometimes I feel cold within and cant help give out an occassionl creak.
Thank you for your back-ward glance , you could have pretended deaf.
I wish to be touched for reasons other than push or pull.
Don't even bother to spin excuses.
Yeah I know , not all wishes come true.
I feel like a furniture...or may be a door.

I almost forgot...Happy New year to you all!!!!

Wish you a happy and prosperous 2011 , filled with loads of love,light and laughter!!!!

*****Sigh*****

I am happy (or is it at peace?) for no reason ...and that worries me !!!

On being a stay-at-home mom ...

Not long ago (The day - May 11, 2010) I had a day job. Not the high-flying , big bucks kind but a good one where I went to write code , meet people and keep myself intellectually stimulated(?!!).Ofcourse it fed my sporadic retail pangs.

Being the list-maniac that I am ..I always have a list at hand..to-do , dream list , list of books to read , places to visit , menu to cook.At any point ..a list is imperative.

During my day-job-days I dreamt of things I would do if I were to stay-at-home...free time to spend at my own discretion.It is 8 months since I am a stay-at-home mommy and I review my list.I should say it looks pretty neat!!

*Read - Checked
Love reading books with LO.She reads hers and I read mine.Therez something really nice about reading real books ... warms my heart.

*Bake - Checked
I have always loved baking. I am no pro ..but absolutely love making cookies with chocolate chips for LO. She loves to play with them ..digging the chips out.If some gets into her mouth ..I call that bonus :)

*Unplanned outings - Checked
I like adventures and to me unplanned outings are the civilised kind.The book stores , the pool at the second floor , snail spotting and feeding ... lil cute ones.

*Lazy gazing- Checked
Our house here has a lovely view ...we are on the 12th floor and our unit is road-facing.When we are bored of readin , TV , crayons and just about anything that would keep us busy ...Lazy gazing is what we resort to.We can never have too much of it.We watch tiny people going about their day , cars , trucks, dogs, taxis, street cleaners, gas supply vans,security vans, loading, unloading, movers, children playing on the streets, the unpredictable showers, warm sunsets, starry skies.It feels good to be between heaven and earth.We get a good view of both:) The regular visits from pigeons only adds more fun.

*Fitness routine - Unchecked
I can actually mark this checked.Though I m not into yoga or workout kind ..running around LO ( accelerated with a bowl of food) would burn more cals for sure.

*Travel around - Unchecked
With the way a trip to the 2nd floor is adventure to me ...it is obvious that I am not game for long travels. This item has been put on hold owing to diaper bag and food packing restrictions.

The other unchecked items include dance classes, GMAT prep, language learning, professional certifications.Let them be.

I am enjoying now...every bit of it...filling my days with LO.I see her happiness when we cuddle, laugh, play, sing,read, learn new stuff, fight, watch TV, lazy gaze...just being together.I am living my dream here :)

I know that these are the best days of my life. When I eventually get back to my career ...these moments will make fond memories to cherish as I hustle through the day.

Life is always about choices...and for once I am so damn sure about mine.

I dont like it that way

I am so tempted to slander peole when they try so hard to play smart cookie.I dont like it when someone plays watch-dog or behaviour policing."Thank you for being judgemental, what you ve stated has safely been redirected to toxic trash".

I totally understand that if you are a rotten scum bag ...thatz because you ve been wired that way and I really have no qualms about it.But dont try to shove some muck on me...and no filth please.I dont like it...totally.

wow ...just as I type out this post I realise that what I started out as a narration has turned out to be first person addressing :) Looks like I am heading the slander therapy way!!!

Well,that said i think it will feel really really goooood to spew out whatz on our minds:)

Yet another realization I had is that being lazy does nt make me happy:)

Looking behind my shoulder

With another new year fast approaching I had a quick backward glance.The year has been a challenging one ...truly challenging ...translating to tremendous learning.I took a real bold decision , by which I ve surprised myself.I am just glad I m sticking with it.

No remarkable happenings ... not an eventful year either.

Nothing lost , nothing gained...quite an average year so to speak.

With another month to go ...I might be in for a twist.Thatz the best thing about life...the unpredictability ...the mystery...the surprise.

Even as I hear fears and uncertainitiesn hammmering inside my head , I feel grateful for the beautiful ways in which my life has been blessed.

Life sure is beautiful :)

Words and what they mean

Just as I was mopping the floors today I was thinking about some words ...their meanings and the way I interpret them.Words like 'humility', 'courteous', 'considerate'.I felt that some of them were so similar and somehow I dint want them to be the same. So was trying to give my own interpretation like 'humility' is not being too proud to ask for help.While 'courteous' is being polite enough to offer help , 'considerate' is actually helping without waiting for a response , doing something that needs to be done.

And then out of no-where I said a prayer..."God, help me be humble.But if I have to choose between 'humble' and 'considerate' , help me be considerate."

Phew...whatz with me?!!!!

I am here and I am happy :)

Well...that is that . "I am here and am happy." Honestly, this very moment as I type out this post...I truly understand and cherish the joy of being in present.The bygone moment , the aftermath of now...nothing matters except NOW.Loving it.

About the months that fled by ...those have been so full of experiences and loads of learning.These days I am working hard on taming my temper.Quicker cool-off is what I ve learned to do. I am far far away from where I want to be.

If child psychology interests you "Children : The Challenge" by Rudolf Dreikurs is one awesome read.'t was an accidental pick from a thrift store.But so glad that I did.Reading it second time over to make notes.

Got some reading to do before I hit the sack.

Selamat tidur :)

Change

Change is like trying on a pair of stashed footwear... makes you feel off-balance for a wee while and then ...fits like a charm , warm, welcome and refreshing :)

Unnai pOl Oruvan

My weekdays are very very hectic ...and I prefer them that way. And weekends get by in laying things in place for the week ahead.I am a stickler for good times...and good times are when I get to do things I love - reading , watching movies , sleeping , gardening, baking, whipping up stuff, cleaning, music - listed in no particular order.A minimum of two of these are sure in-thing for weekends.

After catching-up on a hearty nap (of modest 3 hrs), I decided to watch 'Unnai pOl Oruvan' - long pending on my must-watch list.OMG....'awesome' is such an understatement!!! The movie was perfect to the T...the story, cast , screenplay, visuals et all...just everything about it.

There is this thing about people who love their job...not only does it show in their work , but also there is an air of goodness about it.Kamal lives his passion and it sure does show.For the ways in which he makes me a better movie watcher , a better fan ...I am thankful.Kamal, you are truly are an inspiration!!!

On that note , I leave you folks ...wishing you all a great week ahead!!!

Stay smiling...

Womens' Day

I sat down to blog ...then being the person I am ...got lost in the web of yummy , yummy food blogs with pictures that make people drool ...literally.

Coming back to my title, I ve never been anywhere close to being a feminist.Having been treated like a princess ...or tom-boy to be honest , the cherub I am, I ve nt had the oppotunity to get into the mind-set of a feminist.Touch-wood , I am being treated like a fellow human ....not a gurl or lady( gosh...those years?!!) to be more specific.

I am not for exclusivity .I believe it marks the beginning of difference.I like being treated equal or more equal , if that suits ;)

Every person on earth deserves to LIVE their life , to make thier choices , to breathe the air of freedom, dream their dreams ...

If you are a woman reading this post, Happy Womens' Day to you!!!

And if you are the other kind .....give my wishes to the special ladies in your life :)

All you folks out there....sport a smile...life's beautiful.Trust me ...it is.

P.S: I just had the perfect weekend !!!!

Good people and not-so-good happenings

I am not happy today. I am SAD to be more specific….that is SAD in BOLD and italicized. Dint like what I heard from my best friend today. ’Like’ is not the word to use. But I am not bothered. I don’t like the scheme of things , in life , in general. Wish God had things rolling differently..like virtual transportation to another planet or something. I do not like death or anything diminutively close to it. The good people part…well I believe in every one being good…just in different ways, at different times , to different people. But some are extra special, with their goodness overcharged. Wish I knew him. What I missed for so long …I ll miss forever. Good people are meant to be known, understood, befriended, cherished. I did not get to do the first three…but the last …will be forever. I ve not met, but he will certainly be fondly remembered, cherished. I can feel the pain of the people who know him. May they find solace in having known him.

Leh

I have seen you with my eyes closed.
Blue engulfed by land strips or the otherway.
But the entirety filled ...overflowing with calm, poised.
The air must be mostly still, I imagine.
The crystal waters reflect a mind I can only dream of.
Sweet are the unsung melodies and you sure are one.
Leh, when will I hear you?