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Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Happy Valentine's Day

All it takes is loooove :)

For me to get back to my blog ... after the hundreds of blog posts I wrote inside my head, wide awake  through the nights, during my morning walks, as I spoon food to my little girl with the precision of a desperate gamer, as I whipped up my culinary experiments,  during my weekend cycling expeditions, as the wind blows on my face and as I fool myself dreaming the sun shines just for me , as I look out of my window into the not-so-far-away ocean thinking of my sailor ... err..captain friend that he would be sailing some far-away sea, as I cherish the quite time at work  when the second-last person has left for day and I am left to my thoughts, mostly nice ones ...about how beautiful my journey of life has been, friends, relationships that dont exactly fall into definitions, long-term acquaintances, short-term soul-mates, the broken ones, the friendships that have stood the test of time,distance and complacence, the thoughtfully terminated ones, the faded ones, the ones waiting for a redemption...whatever kind it was ...about how they have made my life richer , more beautiful and outrageously awesome,  I just did not want this blog post to be lost in the crevices of my grey matter.

I am happy that our paths crossed, that we sat down for a cuppa and a slice of cake, washed down countless masal vada with chai watching the rain fall, made friends with the pani poori guy for that extra one, shared good times, gave hugs, lent a ear, gave a push and sometimes a shove,  had conversations that ran into the night and well into the dawn, donned our silly hats, argued for the sake of arguing, how we agreed to disagree, the long drives, the break-downs, the long walks,  how you had to put up with all my drama ( ahem, that I am a tad more mature, though not quite there) ,how we broke-up just to come back stronger or left it at that for it was the best way to be. Through and through I cherish them ... those were the moments I felt so alive and they still do make me feel the same. Thank you for being a part of my life's kaleidoscope ...consider yourself hugged. Love you loads seriously!!

Wish you a Very Happy Valentine's Day !!! Let us do a dessert together ..perhaps a decandent piece of chocolate at your place and me at mine , hold a toast to us and to love, to relish the warmth that love brings into our lives.

Wish you the best life has to offer ..Stay happy always!!

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Just another Rambling ...

It has been years ... and coming back to blogging feels like visiting grandma's home: the familiar smells, the mirth of worn-out sofa, memories flooding ...mostly fond ones.

We are just back from our trip to India , a rather awesome trip ....a wedding, pilgrimage, catching up with friends , shopping like frenzy.

This post ensues a discussion with my friends from college, a rather brief one. One conversation was around why people blog ...and being a(n) (intermittent) blogger myself , I tried to explain it as a medium of expression. But I was not happy with my supposition. Looking for an answer, I came back to reading my older posts here.

As the tortoise coil swirled and I read one post after another, I had the eureka moment : I blog because it makes me happy.

I firmly believe that every person deserves to be happy. If something is legal, moral, does not make life difficult for another person  , makes you happy, then you definitely should do it. And that is exactly what I am doing ....churning out this post :)

A quick heads-up on my space ... life is busy in a rather nice way, mothering 2 beautiful girls: One a hyper-active toddler who is full of questions, who loves to defy any instruction given to her and a super naughty toddler with a sunny disposition, who firmly believes she is entitled to have everything she wants ... no exceptions whatsoever.

Work is work and on the personal front , I have not spent much time doing the things I wanted to do. I must make time and do a little more reading , writing, learning new stuff, sporting, a few new tricks. I cant seem to get enough !!!

I do not know the next time I will hit this space with a post ...but until then,like they say in Looney Tunes : "That's all folks !!"

Monday, July 01, 2013

It is that time of the year

Yes it is here : That time of the year when  the need to get somewhere sets in and is achingly strong. It is making me sleepless and it is making me blog :)

 I do have enough on my plate to keep myself busy. If the question is "Am I being efficient?", the answer sadly turns out to be a big , bold "NO!!!"

This feeling of wanting to get better feels good. I have an intuition that one day I am going to take this quite seriously and am gonna surprise myself :)

Well, that said , I have to confess this can be quite a fleeting thought . Once I have quite a sizable chunk of a work, meaningful or otherwise, I am more likely to be lost behind the pile. The need to be busy is so over-powering that it sub-plants the need to be efficient.

Have been doing a bit of introspection to find out that one thing that I am super-good at. Know what ...the only ever thing I could come up with is "Being a good self-critic!!!" I know I can do better than that!!! An honest review tells me I am being too self-critical.

So, I am revamping this exercise to be an extraspection(?!) - where I am gonna take inputs from my friends and well-wishers to know what is it I am good at that I can leverage on to get further.

If you know me well and you happen to read this , I need your ten cents. Do share that one thing that I am really really good at ...that surface that I can scratch to dig for my treasure.

Thanks in advance.

Oh ... about the long hiatus on  this blog...I have been writing way too many on my head. They simply did not get here :)

A quick update: She is one bubbly, adventurous toddler with way too many questions on her head and is all about exploring. Life in general is good and for that I am thankful :)


Friday, October 26, 2012

A conversation with Mintu

I want to remember our conversation today.

Mommy : Mintu ...Love you Mintu.
Mintu: Mommy , but I dont love you.
Mommy: Thatz ok Mintu , you dont have to love me .

After the many experiences life has given me , I have come to understand that loving without getting judgemental is 'THE' thing. I will love  her through and through ... I know it is not easy (considering the number of tattoos she might sport , the nay-sayings , shoulder-shrugs, arguments , denials ).

What she is doing to me is amazing !!!! I never knew I had it my capacity to be the person I am.It is almost like shez unlocking new doors inside my heart ...leading me to places within me I never knew before. I feel so new ... and so different a rather nice way. Love you Mintu for that!!!

I always want to remember that she is a choice I made and loving her is not a matter of choice.If she is making it difficult for me , I know where it comes from ;)

Note to Mintu: You know what Mintu , mommy loves you anyways. But you better be good!!!


Sunday, August 12, 2012


So oft I have penned my thoughts  here on 'choices'.But it just does not seem enough.Or may be that I am thinking in circles.

That said , I have come up this cross-road so many times in life and I still have not got the hang of it. The questions remain: "To stand-out or belong?" ; "To stand-up or let go" ; "To work on an effort or move on with alternatives"; "To forgive the person or to forget the relationship ".

Here I am in a place warm and cozy ...quite stable where I can snuggle in the mirth of simple and comfort living.And in front of me is an unfamiliar path , which requires a lot of effort and energy, letting go, learning and scaling up and honestly speaking it might require more ..or may be less...I do not know..The rewards ...I am yet to figure that out!! It might be warm , it might be cold ..I do not know. But it sure would be an experience!!!

Looks like the explorer in me is showing some light there :) Sometimes I look at some people and admire at what fine , remarkable material they are made of. The kind of energy they bring along , the ways they stand-up, the ways they let go and the ways in which they seem to orchestrate life. One sure thing I understand is how hard the paddle and how beautfifully they glide.

So , that is that I guess.Life is all about experiences...I am always in for one.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

A life to learn

My grand-ma went into a lasting slumber on June 7, 2012.

As much as I am missing her , I was thinking about the numerous lives she has touched.Hers was a humble beginning and she carried that humility all along.She was not all that educated, but I am yet to meet another woman so sure of her-self , strong and gentle.

 I seriously have a difficulty comprehending can someone be so fragile and yet so strong , so innocent and yet so self-sure.

My grand-parents'  lives are lessons to me. I can never get there ...but I sure can make my life more sensible with the learning.

Of the many , the most important lesson I need is to learn to forgive. For me "forgiveness" is the toughest. Though I donot carry the bitterness or hatred around, I find it very difficult to let go of the hurt.It is almost like that hurt part of me is so hurt and numb with scar that it can never warm up from within.I simply cannot stop asking the question "why?".

I am just so thankful for all the times spent with my grand-parents...I have basked in their love and compassion , the words of wisdom ,heart-warming jestures,  had insightful conversations, good times and great memories.

They were a loving couple and with this togetherness , it will only get better.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

My take on parenting

I have always been a sun-shine person....everyone who knows me knows that.(yeah yeah ...there are cloudy moments too...) But all along I am a happy person,  incapable of sulking for long and even as a kid I loved pups and babies. I took good care of my pups...loving them to pieces.So my less-evovled self came up with this theory: "If I can be so good with puppies and if every kid likes me, I would make a super-cool mom... fun and firm , one that my kid(s) would adore".

Years roll by and a little torando sweeps up all the trashy theories out of my life ....including the one above. My little girl , she ever so bluntly brushes away all signs of my intellectual capacities.

Long time ago I believed children are like clay and that the responsibility of moulding them lies with parents.Now I have come to believe that parents ought to be more of facilitators than doers.Kids...they have it all in them.

Everyday I ve a lot to unlearn ...out-dated thoughts to eliminate, realities of parenthood to accept and most of all embrace...willingly or otherwise... the changes she brings in me.She literally is shaping the mommy in me. Everyday I think hard ( google if required) to give her appropriate responses, to dissipate power-struggles and to entertain her satisfyingly.Never knew contemplating can be this exhausting ( that I feel my brain weary and parched).

Some days are tougher than the others...but with a glimpse of her sweet slumber everything makes sense. Parenting is the toughest thing ever...