A snapshot of me...

Itz 12.45 am. and my music is blasting.I want to cut out voices... especially the one screaming within me.Wondering how long I can keep the music going ...

shall I call this a tangy day ?

Today I had lotsa oranges for lunch.One that I just gobbled (wish I dint have to do that...but had to ...owing to non-technical reasons!!) and lots more that I relished.I loooove oranges ...for the happy color it carries,for the scented spray that it sends when I remove the peel...the fibre, the tingling that it does to my olfactory sensors, the tangy taste and for the happy , cheerful fruit it is :-)

Shud call this day ...tangy !!

That apart I will just mention about the "Decorate your workplace" contest that Pk and Monu have vividly portrayed.After a reaaal long time ..it was great team effort...and we won :-) Reminded me of my school days and college days ...when we got a little toooo creative or shud I call it weird :-) ?!!

The storms have ceased at my sea...now I m enjoying the calm and happy that the rough patch is over.Trying to enjoy the missing feeling.Guess itz worth the try.

Somehow now, I think of this:

"If you love something,
Set it free...
If it comes back, it's yours,
If it doesn't, it never was yours...."

And how true it is !!

I m thankful for all the love that remains , all the love that keeps me going , for the love that I ve lost, for all the love that has come back to me ...I really am :-)

A discussion to share

Therez this funny thing about humans( as much as I know), the more the prospects of not getting something, the more is the yearning for it . Be it a material , personal or emotional need, what we donot have we pine over all the more.If only we cherished all that we have life would be sooo much better ...is nt it?

That apart, I had a discussion with nn which I would like to share here ...on this blog:(ofcourse acceptance has been obtained from nn :-) ).

> Hi,
> are you conducting some psychological survey on women or wat?
> But still I choose to answer for two reasons:
> 1.I presume you are a guy whoz set out to understand the fairer lot.And I appreciate your effort.
> 2.May b it will my 2 cents to the women in your life.
> Here you go:
> What is Ur thought on what an average female wants out of a
> relationship? Complete possession ?
My response:
> I believe that
> every woman looks for a sense of belonging in any relationship.Shez
> wired that way.And ofcourse there is an element of possessiveness with
> every woman ...the reason being she puts in so much of her care and
> affection into the relationship that she values.
> What you ve nurtured you find it tough to let go ...right?

Do U feel that women have intimate stuff from past relationships inside their minds which probably do not get out even to the most understanding of partners ?
> My response:
> Letting out intimate stuff and have an understanding partner are two different things.A woman may have stuff from her past relationships on her mind.But may choose to leave them alone becoz they simply might not make sense anymore.
> A most understanding partner shud be ok with it.Is nt it?I believe once a woman loves someone ...itz tough (nearly impossible) to hate that person.What she does with the new relationship is she simply loves or tries to love someone more.What she
has ...she holds in the palm of her heart.

> What is the biggest expectancy in a woman,when she gets involved in a relationship ?
> My response:
> 'Commitment' is the word.

> Quoting nn@xyz.com:
Hi Rish,
> What is Ur thought on what an average female wants out of a
> relationship? Complete possession ? Do U feel that women have intimate stuff from past relationships inside their minds which probably do not get out even to the
most understanding of partners ? What is the biggest expectancy in a woman,when she gets involved in a relationship?
> Whoa... So many questions eh ? Let me see how many get their partners answers)... : )

> NN.

An other kind of ode ...

A quick note:
2 years ago I posted An ode to a friend...(You have to forgive me for the bad indentation ...there simply aint any :-)Lost them during shipment from LiveJournal to here).
Now I have done a follow up on the self-same :-)

Goodbye ...I ll save it for the end;
Where it began we painted the picture with a rosy blend.
The friend you were to me... I thought you deserved an ode,
and that thought I dont repent not this far down the road.
Just when everyday spake the tongue of rainbow hues,
there came the blacks and whites...giving the picture hazy blues.
Special moments drowned in the haunting silences,
we spoke of new terms...freedom,space and independence.
And then appeared the grey spaces and moss,
all that we built with our hands and hearts... went for a toss.
The sunny days are the ones with the past,
Our walks have waned and now not steadfast.
Our paces have started to vary,
when I slow down you scurry.
When I fasten my stead,
you fall back and let me take the lead.
Funny ...how different we think.
When I say there are too many strangers around us,
About making new friends is your buzz.
A smile I smile not to be seen,
looking at you reminds me what I could have been.
But if I were you and you and me were same,
then between us, there would not be as much fun and game.
The time has come for us to seek new avenues,
Now, we are at cross-roads..ahead, we have many rues.
Letz tread our ways in our own pace,
and shine a smile when we meet face-to-face.
So long... so good ..the laughters, good times, sharing and pains,
Letz tell ourselves "Well with life ...nothing remains".

My Madurai trip

Its been quite a while since I been away.

Let me start-off with my trip to Madurai.I believe that therez an innate beauty in simplicity....be it a city, people, food,thinking or life-style.Madurai is a city thatz close to my heart for this reason...simplicity.With 3 years spent in this city and more away from it... my liking has just got better.
This capital of Pandyas has a charm of innocence , apart from the alluring temples, the varied landscapes, lush green fields,
a tantalizing spread of food (which also happens to be low-cost),simple people and their beautiful slang of tamil.

My trip lasted for a little more than 2 days, during which I attempted to drink as much of the city...meeting friends, feeding fishes, rock-climbing(well the not so tough one), temples, jigarthanda(a delicacy very specific to the city), roadttu kadai parotta( Indian roti) ,the closely string madurai malli(a genre of jasmine flower),sungadi sarees, long rides thru the villages, masal vadai and tea from MKU canteen and meeting the people of the land.

The temple tank of Thiruparankundram temple is the my most favourite place on earth. It has been my bodhimaram, den and my asylum...whatever name you give.The place has helped me clear the clouds and gain objectivity when I needed it.I have learnt to hear to my inner voice, as the ripples lapped up against the walls of the tank.Feeding the fishes is more than a mere obsession ...probably it is what is zen for me.For what the place does to me...I simply love it.

Thanks to Niraj, for the early morning drive to Vadivaelpuram.The place is a 20 min ride from Thirunagar and what makes this place special is the beautiful picture the place presents.A small temple with a temple-tank abloom with lotuses , at the foothill of a not-so-big rocky hill.And this entirety surrounded by lush green fields , interspersed with banyan trees.If one gets to go half-way up the mountain and takes a keen look , then one can trace water flowing downstream to the fields.I spent quite some time there feeding the fishes with rice puffs and chap from the village picked a lotus for me from the tank :-)

For a city-bred person like me, with sparse exposure to nature , it was like a small piece of heaven.

I really wish I could narrate my experience as much as I relished it.But then I know I ll miserably fail.

So, I choose to stop here and upload the pics which can do the narration better(well you ve to keep waiting on that...until I gain access to the resouces...but sure I ll do the uploading )

Bye for now.

A smile and a tear

Therez this strange thing about relationships...the ones that go to be a memory , belonging to the past.Each one of them leaves behind moments to cherish or lessons for life.

No relationship really ends...a part of it we carry with us every day and onward,whether it is a familiar phrase instilled in us , a poem shared, a tiff over a bite of chocolate, the name-calling, that silly secret.I believe that this is the way it works.Else we would all be as open as when we started out and as unexposed to goodness or pain.

No, I dont say that with every awry relationship we shrink.It is just that we become a little more prudent about letting people or relationships influence us to the hitch.

I know getting hurt is inevitable, but to hang on to the pain or not is about personal choice.It is simply that I tell myself to give my best to the thing that is in front of me and then, when it is dusk, be happy for the day which gave me the mirth to bask in.A tough one I try to teach myself...but worth it.Life is more complete.

Sure life is beautiful...what else can give me a smile and a tear at the self-same spell of time :-)

Appreciation Day

Today itz Appreciation day at work.What came to my mind was this:

"To those of you who have pushed me, thank you.
Without you I would have fallen.

To those of you who laughed at me, thank you.
Without you I wouldn't have cried.

To those of you who just couldn't love me, thank you.
Without you I wouldn't have known real love.

To those of you who hurt my feelings, thank you.
Without you I wouldn't have felt them.

To those of you who left me lonely, thank you.
Without you I wouldn't have discovered myself.

But it is to those of you who thought I couldn't do it;
It is you I thank the most,
Because without you I wouldn't have tried."

~Author Unknown

A snap-shot of me I

I continue to surprise myself on how gracefully I take my lessons with life .Just that, heart of hearts, I wish I dint have to take them..the real tough ones.Then again ... I know they are good for me. I need to grow , get better , gentler, stronger ...

I know I can rest for a while and then, move on I must.Staying behind is not a choice I give myself.

So move on I will, with my lessons in my heart :-)

Short story 1

Thanks to Ammani,I ve finally took to trying my writing skill.

So, this is lead line for i ask you write - 10:

Somewhere in the dark recess of that wooden cupboard, there is a photo album. And somewhere the middle of the album is a photograph of Vaijayanti. She's leaning against a tree, looking up at something and smiling. What is she looking at? When was this photo taken?

And here is my 50 paise:

Itz more than two decades since that day had met itz dusk , but my memory of it still shines through.Vaiju...the angel-next-door, known as Vaijayanti to the rest of the world , wore a saree for the first time.Not that she was of contemporary or tom-boy make...she was one of those delicate souls who would blush at even the slightest glance.A loud word from her is something I ve not heard of...since our childhood days.

By virtue of my profession I was the chosen one to catch a glimpse of her through my nikon.The damsel, draped in a saree,
toddled her way into my backyard and I zeroed-in on my favourite mango tree for the spot.Smile was her language and she needed no prompting on that .Just when I was done with the shoot , she looked up at the sky and smiled ...she spotted a garudan, an auspicious sight ... an good omen for her marriage under discussion.For me that spelt a beautiful memory etched on my film.

The omen was true - she is curled up in her baby-like sleep , as I flip through the album , on this warm sunday noon.

A lesson for life

We pick up lessons from strange places...the back-seat of an auto, an unfair deal , a spider , a babe ,a tsunami-struck village,a signature line, a stray dog ...well...today I took my lesson from a tramp...one can actually be happy at the road-side, with tattered clothes, measly food and no roof over the head.

A smile so full ...so full of life...I wish I had my cam with me.

I need a flash card of the lesson.

Why I love spaces

Spaces...I ve always loved them.Be it the spaces as in the skies (back then, I was so much of a star-gazer),the spaces in my dwelling place ,the spaces between the words I type, the silence that lives flanking the musical notes or the spaces even in my relationships, for that matter.I love them for their very existence.And even more for the sense they make.Somehow I feel that spaces add more meaning and beauty , with their being so subtle yet so indispensable.

Speaking of my personal space...it has been my den,refuge, asylum ,haven.That is where I lick my wounds, heal them, reminisce good times, reflect or simply stare into the rough country I carry within.The place saves my sanity.

For me, a person is as rich as the people one has in his life.And as I see , my life has been bejeweled by very special people.Love simply grows with giving.The more thatz given ,therez always more to give.Thatz what I believe.

All that said, I still need my space, where even the soul thatz my skin will not have a say.

"Dont hold me too close for I would suffocate", says a would-be doctor.And my thoughts are so much with her.

And I somehow feel we are not alone and that there must be so many out there exalting space.And about those who think otherwise , I simply wonder how they can choke joyfully.

" You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.

You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow."

- Khalil Gibran, The prophet.

Can't-think-of-one syndrome - VI

Today I rode to office in my new bike :-) I am yet to get my head gear.
Inshah allah, the roads were free and I dint bump into a single vehicle!!

But you should ask me how the day went...I had to drag it along , the hours just wont move!!Off-late,itz been issue-filled weeks,not a single day goes by without an issue.The networks go down , services die and jobs abend just when there are nt enough people to handle.With the gloomy day and torrential showers, work is the last thing that comes to my mind.

In cribbing I find solace;
Imagination set me free.

Yesterday, Mr.M reminded me of the 50 things I wanted to do in my life time.I had come up with the list when I was in my college.Guess it is time to revisit it and consider my priorities.

May be I ll share them here when I make time to type them out.

Over tea Karthik hinted on how to find one's passion , the two questions the one needs to ask oneself:
->If you know you are gonna die soon, what would you be doing?
My answer: Call up friends, eat, listen to my favourite numbers, read books, go for a long drive, lie down in my bed and day-dream, trek, play scrabble, TT, dance, walk along the beach, watch a sun-rise, snow-bowl( Actually , I was closing my eyes trying to come up with things I want to do and the very thought that I am gonna die makes my heart thump !!) and finally I ll tell myself ,"Gurl, you ve had all the fun and now its time".

->If money was nt a criteria, what is the interest you would pursue?
My answer: Start an ad agency / fashion-design unit/HR consultancy/counselling center/a creche or a kinder-garden.

Know what, I just cant get any more specific with my answers.I want to do a thousand things !!!Fickle...sometimes I think thatz what I am ...enthused by a spark and blued by a shade of dark.

Can anyone figure out what my passion is?

'The tragedy of Macbeth ' - A joy unto me

"Here's the smell of the blood still: all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand. Oh, oh, oh!"
-Lady Macbeth

I had wanted to put down this quote for a real long time.There is something intriguing about it that brings it back to my mind quite often.May be it is to do with the depth of the character, Lady Macbeth , the way the tragedy has been plotted or the narration of Macbeth by my english teacher ...we saw the characters come alive.

In our 10th class, we had the 'Macbeth' play as written by Shakespeare.It was part of our curriculum and we were required memorize the verses.English classes were fun..we played Macbeth, Duncan, Banquo et al!I still enjoy recollecting some parts of that.

There is this strange beauty in Lady Macbeth , that makes me like her despite her evil intentions.She is so full of love;she is ambitious.She is gentle at heart but dares to take a life.She wins over her dream ; but reality fails her.The love and desperateness that drive her to her success are the self same that sink her.
She fights a lonely battle with herself, within herself and makes her worthy of my sympathies.A beautiful characterization ... one of my favourite.

And a greater joy was to reminisce the classes with like-minded-friends.Nimmi ,a very special friend of mine who fills my days with great 'enthu', knows the entire play of 'Romeo and Juliet'(as written by Shakepeare)by-heart!

Talking about those days brings smiles onto my face.

Memories remain.

And it ran happily ever after...

When I started out, I had told myself that no specifics about my job or projects will go into this blog.

But now something happened and I just cant help sharing it here in my blog.

The project I was working for past 5-6 months came to an official close today and it was one of the pilot projects on SCRUM methodology.

On the onset , we were all whimpering and whining about the new process and the very many meetings happen on a daily basis.But today , everything and everybody made sense.Nothing we cribbed over came to my mind.It seemed like a perfect ending.
Mostly it was the team...I was part of a great team , which made the long hours of work pleasant and work a pleasure.

Every project comes to close, goes live , with or without bugs.What makes a project memorable , more than the technical challenges and logic and business significance , is the rapport,camaraderie and the team-spirit that runs-through.

I am happy I was there , then.

Hoping the project will run fine for long.

Hope the fairy tale continues...

Can't-think-of-one syndrome - V

After another bout of viral infection, I feel too bored to fall sick again.The month that just went by , I had lousy cards to play.Two viral infections, incessant cold attacks, a sprain, acid reflex ...quite a medley and the sporadic production calls to fuel it all.

But..this month kicked off on a real hi:-)

First, I got my new bike , owing to my altruistic nature.I think I can keep the toll at bay , staying behind 2 wheels.Considering my driving expertise , a single wheel (the one they keep rolling with a stick) would be safer!!
Itz all to do with my weird imaginations....just when I drive down a fly-over , I 'll get these eccentric questions onto my frontal: "What if I forgot driving?", "What if I let go of the control?"...and I ll be all wobbles.And then, I am too lazy to keep directions....or may be pre-occupied!!

And then, there was this other time , I was happily humming,smiling and driving ( I was nt emulating anyone!!) that I lost sight of the red .The crazier part was that I gave myself a pat for not jeering at the person who I presumed violated the rules!

Yesterday was my first ride alone...to Landmark and back.I forgot the way back and a cherub of a friend came to my rescue , escorting me to my way back home.Be on the look out for him...he is a rapper in making :)

Jokes apart, I am seriously working on keeping my imagination at bay while driving.

Secondly,after so many years that I dint keep count, I finally got myself a Scrabble board !

Thanks a bunch Herr , for my first game of scrabble :-)

And all you noble souls I know , I invite you over for a game of scrabble.
NOTE: Mandates: patience, generous heart, score-keeping

A new-age professional's survival kit

I was looking at my life and that of folks who sail trhe professional boat with me and when i questioned what are our lives made of,these are the things that blaringly struck me:

* mails (especially the appealing forwards) ,if in S/W
* A camera mobile with pictures we seldom transfer
* Minimum 1 meeting per day
* Wednesday itches (intensity subject to variation)
* Minimum 3 cups of coffee per day
* An average of 3 personal calls per day
* Minimum 2 team lunches per month
* One team building/outing per month.
* Treats for the most inconsequential of reasons.
* Hang-outs with friends over the weekends
* A lucrative pay at the end of the month
* An yearly appraisal to crib / conference over
* Intermittent trips to onsite/campus recruitment
* Occasional pangs of loneliness echoing from the hollow of our lives.

Hippocratian Science is sick :-(

Hippocrates, The father of medicine , laid down the Hippocratic Oath ,as ethical guidelines.

Taking this oath is a rite, as one steps into practicing medicine and it remains so.
When will the medicos give life to it?

Or if making wealth is all these games are about, there are more lucrative jobs.Why mess with medicine , putting priceless lives at stake?

When would this change?Where would it start?

Questions currently pounding my brain:
Why are drugs banned in other countries not banned in India?

How should one choose a doctor or a medical institution?

How are details of banned drugs communicated to the practitioners?

Where does one find details of banned drugs?

Is there any governing authority for periodic inspection of hospitals?

Which one?

So many tablets in front me,
in all shapes and colours I see.
Which one do I gobble,
I just go by "hitsy, bitsy,hobble".

Can't-think-of-one syndrome - IV

I feel light.I m neither happy nor sad.My day is overflowing with chores and I m on my toes.Still, I feel like I have so much time!!!I ll pick up the half-read book that lies under my pillow.Its titled 'Intimacy' , penned by Osho.Osho and I share the same birthday :)

These days, say, for the past one week, I m enjoying a peculiar calm within and a cheer unperturbed by the mundane issues.And for me cheer translates into chirpy.

Over this weekend, I had a great realization :House-keeping is real tough job :-( Keeping an eye on the door, answering calls, keeping count of the number of cooker whistles , not letting the curry charr,dhobi, maid, instructions,paper, milk-man, fixing the menu without repetition (reaal tough brain work...the considerations and criteria to keep) , waterboy , not letting the motor overflow,folding clothes, listing and replenishing exhausted groceries ....gosh ...I need a breather!!!!

Until now, I dint know my house-hold was filled with sooo much action!!!I ve never done any of the chores at home...before stepping into married life.Its always been crisp ironed dresses, warm food and fresh sheets on my bed I ve seen.Probably I was oblivious to the fact that someone was actually running the show...making life easy for me!!

Now, with so much change happening, I continue to surprise myself day-in and day-out!!!My turn to make lives easy for my folks.I give myself a pat for the not-so-bad home-maker I ve blossomed into :-)

Keeping my fingers-crossed that I sustain this spirit through the week.

My humble salutations goes out to all those beautiful home-makers,who with their unspoken ,often-undermined efforts, make lives easy at their house-holds.They sure are domestic angels who make things work and make it seem like magic !!!

A thought

I think aloud:
" The loudest of laughters has the saddest of stories to tell."

Pluto is no longer a planet!!!

The last couple of weeks work had kept me really busy...well partly so.
Rest my laziness :-)
Many things I wanted to blog and slipped ...includes:
->The confused AVCD(America-visited confused Desi) family that we visited.
->How diplomacy can actually tighten the noose (and get work done)
->Chennai 's B' Day

Now that they have slipped and away...I ll vent out my views on declaring Pluto , a non-planet and a Trans-Neptunian Object" (TNO).

How unfair?!!!
Lets say, I spent 5kb of my memory to know about the 'Planet Pluto' , that itz the ninth and the smallest and ...So many stuff that added-up including the stress of spelling it right with my small brain(well, then, I should have been in my 2nd or 3rd class and my brain would have been relatively small that 'bluto' was 'pluto'or 'plato' for that matter ), the time I vained to learn something that is wrong, while I should have played heartily,the spankings et all!!!
All that and the huge populus that suffered the same as me , so much memory , so much time, so much struggle all in vain!!
Though there are those like the kind-hearted Brian Marsden, head of the IAU's Minor Planet Center,as quoted in a press release:
"There is no plan to 'downgrade' or 'demote' Pluto. It will stay as a planet." ,

on behalf of the victimized lot,to prevent any such further damage,I m proposing that we should wait to learn until they finally froze the facts.What ye say ? ;-)

P.S: The last statement is such a long one, the second time I read through what I had put down , I took a while to comprehend!

A wish I wish

The very many times I was hurt,
the very many times you made me feel dumb,
the very many times you treated me like dirt,
like I had void for my brains,
the very many times you tramped over me...
I cannot keep count.
I was busy drawing a smile on my face,
painting my cheeks as if they blushed in joy,
keeping my eyes wide as in earnest attention.
I turn my brains off and you are the happiest.
Though your words made perfect non-sense to me,
I listened to you,agreed that I was wrong and
that you knew things.
when all I wished to tell you were just three words:
"Go to hell".
All wishes dont come true.

What personality type am I?

As I was hoppin thru blogs I hit ">here and just got drifted into asking myself the question: "Who am I?".

You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends. You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules. Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives. You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're quite the storyteller! You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

What's Your Personality Type?

On turning 59.

Today my country is turning 59...59 and still young.And I m celebrating it eating mysorepaagu and murukku :-)

I owe my freedom (most of it), my murukku , the free country I live in and the many other stuff that comes along, to all those martyrs of the country, known and unknown.My way of thanking...chip-in in my own small way.

Today, Google had put up a pretty cool logo and I was happy lookin at it.Check out Google ...today!!!

All these days..well I ll rather put it as most of the days , work kept me busy and the rest of them, my laziness.If you ask me if I had something sensible to blog I would say , "No".Mabbe itz the writers' block...I can call myself a writer can't I?

Free India ...I love you :-)

Now that I have nothing sensible to blog , itz better that I sign off here wishing you all Indians "A very Happy Independence Day!!"

And to all those ardent cheedai-ists and murukko-maniacs , "Happy Krishna Jayanthi!!".

On IT

Yesterday,I got to file my income tax returns.Kudos to the IT department , they had put up a real good show in place.Evrything was good...the help-desk, service, seating arrangement, food stalls, aeration et all...

Whilst the IT department is making things work at the employee level, puppeting the business class to pay taxes has been far from reach .Who would bell the fattened cats??I m playing an inquisitive on-looker here :-)

A thought on marriage

Over tea, Karthik shared this thought and I thought it meant so much sense as to put it down here (ofcourse with my own improvising ).

Dont marry someone for the beauty's sake.
With time, beauty fades.
Dont marry someone for intellect's sake.
With time, you may not feel as good enough.
Dont marry someone for the money.
With time, money may not seem all that important.
Dont marry someone because one is quick-witted.
With time, quick-wits may not seem all that impressive.
Dont marry someone because one seems not-all-that-bad.
With time that can head towards the gorges.
Dont marry someone because you have a time-crunch.
With time, you might feel you could ve waited for eternity.
Dont marry someone because you dont want to hurt someone.
With time, someone would have moved on.
Dont marry someone because you have everything else on your list checked.
With time, you ll know marriage is not just another task to be done with.
Dont marry someone to settle down.
With time, you ll know marriage is not about settling down , but about starting-off.
Dont marry someone because he/she will get you your dreams.
With time, you ll discover that everyone has their own dreams.

If there is so compelling a reason, that you want to marry someone ,
let that reason be so strong that it can stand the test of time, space and adversity.

When you are left with nothing else in this world,
that someone should suffice.

That is how strong your reason should be.

Can't-think-of-one syndrome - IV

Sometimes with life , we want to move away from the life we lead and the people who know us really well.The reason is not hatred,disappointment,hurt or pain but just the longing to re-invent our self.Meeting or being with the same people over and again at certain point of time, places a restriction on what we can be or the very many possibilities to our living-self.

They have known you some way for a real long time that when you ve moved away from being the person you used to be , whether by choice to shrink or grow, they just cannot digest.This, though pleasant at certain instances as this, predominantly places a limitation on the person whom we actually grow out to be.

"In order that all men may be taught to speak truth,
it is necessary that all should learn to hear it. "
-Samuel Johnson

This is my quote for the day and what triggered me to think in this direction.

The key is to let go of the image we often create in our minds and fervently hang on to, and accept that which is real and changing.

Some where I read, "Knowledge is not power...but potential power."

A snap-shot of the day

Today,
I m in a crowd.
I m alone.

On being part-of-the-whole

As I started my day checking my mails...a mail from one brought smiles on my face.The one I m talking about is a friend from college and whatz between us I cannot categorize.It brings smiles on my face.There is the other kind you can count on at every odd time of life.But this one is different ...I know I cannot count on ...just not too much.Neither can I doubt , I m never meant a harm.I m wished the best of life.When I m happy I can expect smiles and when I m sad , sympathies.I can trust with my heart.That is that.

We are a bunch from college ... almost like-minded.In an awkwardly comfortable way, we have defined whatz between us.There is liking and comfort but none too much.Strangely, when space and time set us apart there is a tint of grey that sets in my days.Even in the many meaningless reasons we meet out for a treat , in the point-less ramblings ,the arguments-for-arguments-sake ,plain chatter , silly tiffs, trippings there seems to be a comfort.May be it is being part-of -the -whole, being a bunch, a sense of belonging that knits us together.Many times we think of taking this further...from a bunch to being a team...moving towards some place we can call our common destiny.But the thought remains a thought.

What we ve made until here and now , I dont know what we ve put in.I dont know what we take out.One thing I know is that, that which is there lets us walk our own way and is meant to stay.

On words

I wanted to write this down for a real long time...about words.Not about the ones that we let go.But about the ones that we drown in our hearts.Nothing can injure a relationship or derail life than unspoken words.

It does not happen in a day.Like viruses nibbling on the system's resources...silently , stealthily , day after day, they drink out the juices of life and leave the relationship porous and withering.

No...I m not talking about the over-hyped one-on-one talks that all those relationship-guides kick and scream about.I m talking about simple statements like "What took you so long to call? " , "I m scared", "I need help" , "I thought you would come", "I dint like what you did".

Speak out when you should.

Believe me ...for want of a question , a relationship was lost , a life got derailed.There would be lots more out there.

We are raised with the thought that being expressive is a sign of weakness and vulnerability.More so for guys."Be a man"...what a phrase?!In my terms,nothing is more unmanly to lock thoughts and emotions up .A blank straight face ,what a shame!The very many souls who dont profess their love are but left with a bruised heart and scribblings that they call poems.I know the world is infested with so many of them.This post is for them.

And then there are the others who are eternal sacrifiers...that is how they call themselves.They talk about how they bear the brunt by putting up with a strained relationship,how good they are to the other and how much they are hurt because of that.They are the most disastrous of all.They are neither good to themselves or the other.

Oft we think someway and spell out another, not in deception but many a times with a good intention of not hurting the person across.But then, that is when you are really far far away from the truth.The more you put away a thought , the more fiercely it haunts your days.Someday , some way it will find itz way out.

The best way to be good to someone is to tell them honestly what you feel.

If you can think something...you can speak it.

This is what I ask of you :
Be honest.First ,with yourself and then with the ones whom you dont want to hurt.Respect the fact that you have but one life to live and you deserve to be happy ...as much as the other does.

I ask of me the self-same.

You have an answer?

An ideal wife portrayed in sanskrit as:
"Roopekshu lakshmi,
karyeshu mantri,
karmeshu daasi,
bhojyeshu maatha,
shayaneshu veshya,
kshamaya dharitri" ,

which means

that as ideal wife is characterized as bearing the looks of Lakshmi (Hindu Goddess of wealth),a wise counsel in executing tasks,a devout servant in offering service, provides like a mother , a whore in bed and to top it all...is Mother Earth is patience.

If this is about an ideal-wife, what is it for a ideal-husband ?

Tough one ...there..hmm?

P.S: Thanks to pramod - I picked this quote from his orkut profile.

Trip to my home-town

Had been to my home-town for a quick break.Trichy has not lost itz charm - the calm environment and the simple people.
Three days of dedicated sluggishness - stuck fervently to the routine of eating, sleeping and watching movies.
The world without CAS(Conditional-Access -System) is so abundant of choices!!!
Listing few things that I clung to on the television and my review:

Conspiracy theory - A faint plot ...well handled
Leave it to Beaver- Another coochy-coochy father-son story
Gia - A piece of life (The movie is actually the life story of Gia , a model)
Spartacus - A historic piece ( Infact I had seen another version of it)
Ed - KG
Vinnukum mannukum - spiced-up filler.

Friends-Season 10 - Entertaining... as always :-)

Got the book that PK had suggested - "What whould I do with my life" by Po Bronson.Started off with it a little.
Discussed stuff with Nimmi...aahhh...sweet old days :-)
The good thing about some special friends is that you can move on with life and then come back and feel like you ve always been in touch.All differences in space and time lose their meaning.Glad that I found one in Nimmi.In fact, I ve a bunch of them :-)

Passing thoughts...

We are easy on us when it comes to being good or bad , the standards we set.We always have a mistaken notion that not doing bad is being good.On the contrary, doing good is being good.

On trusting and being trust-worthy,both are closely associated with how happy a person is.The more one is trusting and trust-worthy, the more happy he is.
Thinking in the same line, I somehow feel that it is ok to trust and be at loss than not to trust at-all.

Below is an SMS from a friend on trust.

"Trust should be like the feeling that a one year old baby has.
When you throw him in the air , he laughs.
Because he knows you will catch him."

I ve to teach myself that lesson over again.I know it is a tough one though.

A thought born of a mother ...

My unborn child,

I dont know what colour you would be,
but you would be my rainbow.

Can't-think-of-one syndrome - III

I m sitting and typing this post right in the middle of the night (my system shows 12.34 am).Until I started typing out this post , I was blog-hopping.Not that I m going bonkers over blogging , just that I am having pangs of sleepless-ness.Itz been a real long day for me infact...the wake ing up before dawn,the work-out, cooking, house-keeping, meetings and tasks...and after all that I am as actively nocturnal as a barn-owl ! (Barn-owls are nocturnal ...aren't they?)

Remembering the days when people who know me envied me for the gift of sleep I had ...I could then put the dormouse to shame , unperturbed by deafening decibels of sound or dreams or what-so-ever.

Time takes its toll.

Nothing remains.

Everything passes.

Sweet slumber...I long for thee.

Mistaken identity :-)

As I ve typing out my previous post , I heard chirping of birds (just like how it used to be back at my home town) in close vicinity and then I was telling to myself how beautiful life surrounded by nature is.I really was all smiles!
After quite a while it struck me that I had slipped into nostalgia , while my phone was incessantly ringing ...with the "Good morning call" ringtone **LOL**

Driven blanks...

With just one more exam to go , and that being quite some days away ... here I m back into my blogger bean-bag :-)

I have some wonderful , people who are chO chO chweeet that they make me go blank.Let me narrate ... I had escaped work under the pretext of my exams and my folks here thought that this was just the perfect time to go vacation :-)They with my other chO-chweet folks call up before and after exams wishing me luck (just what I need the most !) and asking me about how I performed .
But...what do I say ... one was a maths paper , which I stand a little chance of clearing ( ...thatz if the evaluator is on earth with the mission of redeeming miserable souls like me ...or the other way around...saving the brutal slaying of numbers )
And for the other theory paper , I prepared ...gulping down mid-night Fanta and munching on anything edible at sight...ofcourse while I studying.
Just when I thought I was prepared and hit the exam center I discovered I had prepared for the wrong paper !!!
Perfect picture."Just what I needed",I told myself ... a challenge to my under-utilized creativity.The rest you know!
On today's exam I hope to have a decent score , well, I had so proactively prepared for it ;-)

One more thing I wanted to share with you is how I met a school-mate of mine at the exam hall , while I was happily scanning the exam crowd (The reason is obvious : I had nothing better to do !!). I hit upon this familiar face and she returned a smile , right across the exam halls (yeah I was in one and she was there in the one rigth opposite mine).

Later , we exchanged plesantaries and numbers and some whoz-where , where n what stuff then asked me if I was the same old hyper , fidgety gurl I used to be ...what do I say ?!

She asked about whether I was in touch with my lost and found friend ...here again ...what do I say?!

P.S:This post rendered after a half-hour tiff with Blogger.

Lesson learnt : Next time around I should pay attention to Blogger's down time!

Can't-think-of-one syndrome - II

Yeah ...yet another time the lame-ness syndrome returns...

This time the symptoms are expressing bold, italicised and what not.I am feeling a mixture of tiredness, sleep-walking and a wee-bit sulky and also a tinge dreamy.In fact I find things around hard to grasp and am experiencing a delay in comprehensing :-(

May be itz the dope :-p...may be the endless-chats,right through the nights, with my door-mouse cousin Tina, who desperately is on the look out to buy a college seat (pray shez in for a good deal), the travelling , cooking and oh I almost forgot...the two movies I had been to over this weekend(One "Pudupaettai" : night show :: bad option :-( If anyone gives me the exact count of the slain ones in the movie I am awarding them a bottle of nice , fresh, juicy blood.The screen was full of slaughter and blood-shed that I was feeling pucky and sticky of blood all-over.Eeek!!The other,"Thiruttu payalae" , seemed so much better after having watched the killer concoction.Infact , the plot was quite new to Tamil cinema and has been handled pretty well.Suchi's voice for Malavika weaves a magic.The climax was realistic and well-picturised), everything added up to the muddled-up me who is hazily typing this post out.This I m doing coz I m too confused to work, I dont want to blow up my code :-)

Well, work keeps me really really busy these days and to add to it I ve my exams comin up .I have to scrimmage for my books , I dont know where on earth they are :-(

The set up I m running must be through by now.Work calls !!
Signing off from cyber space ...

Lost and found !!!

Yesternight I experienced what I would call nothing less than a miracle.
Let me start off with what happened yesterday and then lead you unto my past , where I ve my memories grandized in gold.
Friendships have always been a vital part of my life and more so of me and they will continue to be..

Yesterday, I was very hurt(I owe it to my vulnerability) and decided to perform my self-soothening ritual of blog-hopping , skimming through blogs.Just then , I hit upon a name so familiar , so close to my heart , a name I ve etched in my heart for years.
I was devouring frantically every post of the blog, which I believed was that of my long-last friend , looking for some cue or string to weave back to my school days.
And I had my bounty... it is hers.
What I feel is sheer joy!Oh please...the previous sentence is so poorly understated.Miracles are too great to be bound by words!!

Now, a briefing on why she is so special and her friendship so priceless.
It was my sixth grade and we were best of friends.Then,I was confronted with a choice I had to make : Continue to be ONLY her best-friend else give up that beautiful thing between us for friends I never really made.
I chose to be a friend of all and saw the our togetherness fade into the air.
The pain I felt , the day she left the school , waving bye to every other person except me, the tears that rolled down my cheeks as I weeped silently, hiding myself behind a tree at my school's basket-ball court , just to catch one last sight of her ,everything remains so fresh.

It is more than 12 years since all that happened , and repentance still breezes in leaving me hurt.
I repent for the choice I made , for having given up on a friendship that meant so very much to me.Then,I was not wise enough to understand that possessiveness is just another expression of how much I meant to her and not as I saw , a sign of oppression.
I repent because I gave up on what was meant to stay and grow and unfurl blossoms.

May be our togetherness is still in the air , just where it faded into.May be she will remember me.

May be we will be friends...just what we ought to be...

Friend , if you are reading this, I am really sorry for the choice I made , for the hurt I put you through.

Just the thought that I found you makes me fervently humble to the unimaginable possibilities that life has in store.Now, I do believe in miracles.

Thank you for opening up a beautiful world for me , back then , when we were in our sixth class.

Thank you for helping me believe.

Lost and not found

If at point of time , you have wondered about the real you, I am just there , in that very spot , leaving my shadow to wonder where it is belongs to.
My shadow , I knew its been there with me , even when I was incapable of seeing it.Whether I ve been there for myself, I dont have an answer.But if there has to be an answer , I would have to say "no".

The very many times I ve deserted my self , grabbed my dreams away, trimmed-off my wings , chained my interests , crucified the self that was so very much me,the spurts of criticisms , I ve to say no.
And then, there had been times when I smiled when I wanted to snob , when I hanged-on when all I wanted was to let go , was angelic when I wanted to be otherwise , was patient whilst I was screaming insides.My self, I know ,is all marred.

Venue:Besant Nagar


The masks I wear in and out , the masks have become my second nature , I handle them with such ease,I can put thespians to shame.
If you ask me why, I dont have an answer.
If you ask me how , I dont know.
If you ask me to show my true face ,I cannot.
I dont remember having one.

May be I lost it even before I knew I had one.

To have is to have not

Over lunch, we discussed about the vary many directions that are being sought , the new avenues being explored and about the desperateness that sets into a list-less mind, that drives it far and beyond.

To have a list, to hold a road map and to have a destiny zeroed-in , is as much a bane as it is otherwise.I see it as a limitation that one draws upon oneself, a narrowing down of possibilities , undermining the generosity of life.

In some strange sense, getting what is wanted stops one from getting what one deserves.What we achieve sets us into a state of complacency that we become oblivious of what we are capable of achieving.

Winning over complacency is one of the toughest things I ve ever attempted.Every day I battle , with my mind for the sword and the soul softened by good-fortune , for my armour.I m simply bruised all over."The war is what matters", I tell myself.

"There are only two tragedies in life:
one is not getting what one wants,
and the other is getting it."
- Oscar Wilde

How true!

Can't-think-of-one syndrome - I

If a post of mine bears a title like this one that you are reading , just know that I ve been suffering the 'Can't-think-of-one' syndrome.
I think everyone of us suffers this atleast once in our life-time , whether it is giving a name to the kitten you just adopted, a new born , a blog you egged ,an anonymity you are seeking, an account you want to create or a project that just got kicked-off (just like it did last week :-) ).
The weekend that just went by was packed with pilgrimage.
The trip I thought would be taking me through a rich photo shoot.
Owe it to my E-gnorance ...the whole thing blew up :-(
Dint know quite well how to handle my cam , and the through put turned out to be what I can call digital disasters...save this.

This is a snap from Srirangam temple.
I leave it to you to guess whatz so special about this pic.
..
.
.
.
Just in case if you are as good as me in brain-energy conservation, this is for you:
This is a sculpture on one of the pillars of the prakaars of tghe temple.
Hide the body of the animal to your left and you can see an elephant in full.On hiding the body of the elephant , you will see a cow.
Quite a marvel...what do you say?

Yet another pic I wanted to share is that of the really cute cup of coffee that I had.

Courtesy:Coffee Day,Besant Nagar.

I almost forgot !!!


Yet another snap that was supposed to be here was that of my slender index-finger with a stripe of indigo running right through.But now that the streak of indigo is almost gone , here's a pic of what remains of it :-)

Hope that the newly elected government would execute well their duties as I did :-)

The elixir of life

I wanted to do it for long ....somehow I just dint get the chance to make it or may be I had not looked enough .I knew it feels great...I ve seen it in the eyes of the one I shall call 'patriot'.He's done it and I ve been there then .
Yeah..there have been many of them who ve had a taste of me ...whether or not I wanted.It hurts.It hurts a lot when you are tasted against your will.But with life and such grimy creatures around...I dint have a choice :-(
But today was different.I had given of myself, a decision arising from my own free-will.If you ask me the name , I cannot tell.Even if you insist I cannot ...the name was the last thing I could think of then.I dint care.
The experience was painful but not as much as I thought it would.Now ,feeling a wee-bit dizzy , or may be itz all in my mind.The warm gushes that left me ..aah I felt good ! Feels like for once I ve done what I ve always wanted to do.
...
..
..
.
.
.
I donated blood ;- )

(If that slimy grey matter sitting slyly inside that hardened cranium of yours painted any thought blue or green...I m all giggles...)

Those grimy creatures that I was talking about ...call them 'mosquitoes' ...mwahh hahha hhaa....

Now for the sensible thing I intend to put down:
You can actually save lives just by parting with a little of your blood.If you intend to, but dont know where (just like I was once), check this out :
indianblooddonors.com

You can also contact Lions Blood line here:
lionsbloodline.com


You can make a difference!

An itch in the heart

Today as I was heading to work ,a cyclist ahead of me with garlands of roses.
I was trying to imagine the very many destinies the flowers may be heading to.
May be they would reach the sanctorum of the Gods, may be they would be part of a politician's attire or the decorum of a cut-out or joining a departed soul.

Every flower has a destiny ...a day to brighten , a hand to perfume,a spirit to lift , a soul to rise , a bee to feed on.

The choice of its destiny is not with the flower.Why should it be otherwise for us? The very many times we have made hurting decisions ,over-looking people, disregarding things and shutting doors , just to end up realising that those where the doors we were to walk-through , the things to take along and the people who were really meant to stay.

Having a choice to make is such a burden.

Seems like the weather-cocks and the withering flowers are blessed than I am .

Trial Run

If you thought you could get what you could get out of reading a blog , probably an insight , a new view , a good time , a piece of art , joke , fun , tip , recipe , a piece of information, a peek into someone else's mind , an invisible adoption of teeny-weeny thoughts , the brain-children of a stranger or may be a friend , from this post , PLEASE DONOT PROCEED ANY FURTHER !!!

This is a trial run to verify the new 'FeedBlitz' feature that I ve put up in this blog.

FeedBlitz brings any new post on this blog straight to your inbox as and when it gets posted.
All you have to do is just subscribe !

Thanks to Ramesh for spelling this out.

Cool ...ain't it?

Looking thru the third eye...

Off-late, sundays are becoming packed with action and lotsa travel.
Today , we played yet another episode of the urban (not-so-adventurous)adventure , cos this time it was with much of planning.
Started out bit late to the beach , the sun was already on the rising.We , Tina and me , were to tag along Frisky , but eventually plans changed.
At the beach, lazily watched people walk, dance, play , meditate , flirt , watch, sleep .Space without limits is such a comfort.
Dint feel like dippin in the waters.Headed back home and started off on a journey which was more of a pilgrimage.
Met this cool guy with this great hair-do and wanted to pronounce to the world the existence of the 'Enlightened One' :p

If you look really really well , you ll see the aura on his face ( Courtesy : Mr.Sun 'n d'west) :-)
The very many reasons for which I kept away from photography could no longer hold me back.Today, I ventured out on my first hunt and here is one more capture momented.

The resurrection of a forbidden soul

Come, drink of my fragrance,
nibble at me,feed your taste-buds.
I see you starved and hungry,as the urchins
whose eyes have glistened with hopelessness.
Hence I bid, "Come to me".
Let the fangs of yours,
feed on my dampness.
Bite into me ,
every cell, nerve and sinew.
And now see my bones, dont you ?
Hardened by feelings I cannot give any name.
In their brittle, amuse yourself.
Suck them until the juices made you dizzy.
I see the canines not very far,
they breathe a longingness for food.
Feed them with what remains of my skeletons.
Now, for the big-time dessert;
You see my glazed soul?
Why wait? Plunge in , swim,
drink , devour it of its subtlety.
Drink until vacuum fills-in,
where once I filled the spaces.
Let nothing that is of me remain.


From the strength of the void
and the beauty of the vacuum,
I will rise again, born unto the
purity and lightness of existence,
freed from the confines that life
scribbled on my crumpled pages.
I shall become unstained of me,
pristine, flawless, glowing with innocence,
unfurl to see the gleaming white dawn.
And you shall speak of me,
"The ugly caterpillar has moulted
into a beautiful butterfly".
The pain I suffered in my womb,
shall hold its silence forever.

Call me Gab

Where did I get this from?Is it in my genes or did I pick it from the world I was given unto or may be all the universe conspired or may be it is THE force?How did I become so?
Now , now , now , before I get you on my nerves , I was just talking about how garrulous I can be.I ll add 'incessantly' garrulous to make it more close to what is reality.Did I tell you about the whole night I spent chatty with my cousin?Thatz not just the one time.
The idea of conversing somehow appeals to me so very much.I simply love talking!!I can talk when I ve something to talk , when I ve nothing to talk , or even when no one to talk.
The gift of gab ...it iz my thirst and it is my quenching waters, my pain and my pleasure.
And then there are times when I just dont need any one to talk to.I am happy-go-lucky talking to my self.And all the self-talk , it has done so much for me .It has been my console,motivation,discipline, my vent and my window , and very many things I cannot give a name.
Oh I almost forgot , why did I think of my chatty ways?!It all started when I wanted to wish a friend of mine , who just got encaged :-)
I started out wishing him on his engagement , then went on to wish him a happy marriage , then cute and naughty kids ,then active toddlers , then they grow up to be a studious lot , then responsible grown-ups , then I was wishing on them taking over the family , filling their home with love,light and laughter and offering their mom and dad life's best , then the couple walking down to cut their sixtieth anniversary cake.Boy...a moment later I was thinking how weird are my thinking ways..how dare I spell all the gibberish I concocted!
Am wondering what the guy who shared the good news would have thought?!
What with him..I shall unflichingly make good of my gift.
Is my good good enough ?
The question remains :-)

P.S: Long , long ago , before I moved in here ,I used to blog as 'Gab' :-)

My urban adventure

Yesterday , I painted the hours with lots of colours , not just with pretty colours hews ,
but otherwise.The picture looks more wholesome ....more complete.
The day started ...actually the day before dint end ...it just seamlessly jelled with yesterday.
The reason : the entire night I was conversing with tina , discussing about everything I could think of...almost everything under the sun...believe me 8 hours just were nt enough!
We decided to go for an early work-out .But just that as we hit the roads , our plans shattered with the waves :-)
Yeah...we landed up at the beach , with no licence , no money and no mobile....real adventure!Atleast the best I could have in my urban existence.
Watching the sun and the moon , together in the skies ,early on a sunday morn was really overwhelming.I told myself that I should take time to live...which many a times goes unchecked in mylist . Had great fun picking shells , watching crabs and playing pranks.
Wanted to share one more thing...did you know crabs,( the smaller ones) live in the shells of snails?!.I spotted one!
The whole idea of getting to the unknown and doing the unprecedented turns me on.Guess I owe it to the archer in me!!!
Just that we were lucky to sail across safe.
If only something happened ...say Tsunami , no one would even know we got washed away...more so ...my gym instructor...he would be in real hot stew !
You just heard the pessimnist in me speak :-)
Anyways I ll call it a day!
I ll remember to post the snaps of the shells , collected as memorablia ...as always I really dont know when...
Here you go!!!

Blaring silence and other WISE

Things happened yesterday that spurred my thoughts on human relationships.I ll just confine to putting down my thoughts on the incidents , leaving behind what exactly the incidents were.
Inference from Scenario 1:
Sometimes with people , all you have to do is talk.Talk your heart out until you are emptied or your cappucino gets cold :-)
Like it is a writer's block , each one of us , at some point of time , go blank or more so inert that we are not affected by anything happening around or to us.But the person sitting across just isn't you!!!
That makes it necessary to spell out something or any thing that gets the message across.
Inference from Scenario 2:
Sometimes with people , all you have to do is hold your silence :-)
I know...I sound wickedly fickle.
Believe me!!The times when you shout out at the top of your voice , scream until your voice box needs overhaul , thatz when you become too loud that people cant hear you.
If at that moment you can hold your silence , you will be heard.
Inference from Scenario 3:
Yet another experience that required that I speak up , loud, clear and SPECIFIC , and move away , so that that you give the other person sometime to actually get what you said...for the whole idea to sink in.
So , that is all about what I reflected on .
Just when I was about close down on this post, I had a short meeting that revealed to me yet another reason to talk...not to communicate , not to express views , not to have anything accomplished...except for the talking itself.

MM : How about we meet up now?
Me : Sure.
MM : I just dint want to postpone this any further.The floor is your yours.
Me : I require some clarifications on ..... and why ....happened.
MM : Actually , we are really aware of whatz ahppening...and we are working on it.
We just have to arriev at a consensus...and that will take a while from now.
Me : What about .... that was supposed to happen?
MM : Infact , that is one more thing we are looking at.We are expecting it to happen very soon.Just that we are working on to arrive at a cumulative decisioning process , which will facilitate the decision-making in this regard.
Me :hmm...
MM :So , what I would suggest is wait for some more time and things will come out with great prospects.But mean while , do give in your inputs because your feedbacks will help us improve.
Me : Sure.Thanks.

After the meeting:
OBJECT - STATE
Me *BLANK*
MM *GOK* (If only you dint know what it is : "God Only Knows").

Conversations for conversation's sake :-)

Things money cant buy

Apart from the regular very many priceless things , that money cant buy viz.,
mother's love,baby's smile, dew drop on a blade of grass, a double rainbow,there are some oddities that are inevitably part of life , so over-powering and awe-inspiring that money cannot buy or can spell 'IMPOSSIBLE' ;-)

To mention a few :
->A parking space in T.Nagar on weekends
->An election without the raucous speakers (...especially the ones blurting out totally unnerving spoofs of popular numbers)
->A politician with no party-vaulting
->An election manifesto without black-advertising
->Maids who communicate their leave-plans in prior
->Project requirements that dont change
->A house-hold without 'my-family' , 'your-family' tiffs
->A city bus that comes on time....more so...one that stops at 'THE BUS-STOP'
->An auto-driver who dont swear
->Mobiles unperturbed by credit-card offers

As the temperatures are soaring, so also the elections are making the city hotter and happening.

" For want of a nail
the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe
the horse was lost.
For want of a horse
the rider was lost.
For want of a rider
the battle was lost.
For want of a battle
the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want
of a horseshoe nail."

Remember this good-old nursery rhyme ?

Do excise your vote without fail.

Just a friendly reminder with earnest civic sense :-)

The promise of life

A seed was sown and then was long-forgotten.
All the elements of nature conspired,
and the spirit of the universe too.
The gushing waters , rumbling leaves,
many a trickle and a couple of shoves;
Finally a loud bang and knock
...the little seed breathed a lazy yawn,
and a groggy stretching of its extensions.
Just when it ventured rising from its bed,
"Awe...that hurts" said the seed ,
following the thud.
A little nosy about what it was,
the seed made its upward stride.
Sure it was not all uphill.
One more time and lo!
"What on pod is this...so bright
...I cannot stand it".
Time flowed and every drop had a story to tell,
fragrance to add , trinkets to treasure.

The seed had now become eligible,
with an unfurling blossom.
With every day a little of opening-up,
more mature...more fragrant.
As time should have it:
Every leaf must fall;
Every blossom must wither;
And so did this.
But there is always the promise of life
that still remains:
For every fall, there is a spring;
For every wither, there is a wing.
There is always a little seed,sown, long-forgotten
...it will see its morn.

Bizarre

Ppl,with not much happening at work end...I resorted to the library and was flipping through the tech stuff..where I hit upon in a magazine...'the most useless inventions'.Smitten by the whole idea , herez one :

http://forevergeek.com/gadgets/first_dual_cursor_mouse.php

"'But I don’t want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
'Oh, you can’t help that,' said the Cat. 'We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.'
'How do you know I’m mad?' said Alice.
'You must be,” said the Cat. 'or you wouldn’t have come here.'"
-Lewis Carroll


:-)

Good ole times...

These days I m in a frenzy to leave office, get away from work.The moment I step out of my office premises..I feel life gushing so passionately unto me...donno if itz all in my mind or things actually are that way.Then I tell myself ..may be itz the overworking for the past few months thatz making me feel what I feel.
Off-late,I ve evolved this ritual of spending an hour or so with elders at home...chatting ...and today it so happened that aunty was talking about her own good times with her aunt and topics of good ol' times came up.As I was listening to her..I was just thinking how mechanized and energy-drained this generation has become.Was wondering if I would take care of someone with such love, compassion and patience ...
Then my own childhood reminiscence spurted out...the days of cycle-rides,kammarkaatu muttai, pulippu muttai, summers at the village...water snakes , diving from the bridge , the rivers, the scary centipedes ..the traditional maruthaaani(mehandi)...all cousins and the gala..the tractors running through the night,riding on it sitting on thatha's lap,dosas with fresh butter...
watching 'Oliyum Oliyum ' on Panchayat board TV, the chats which would stretch out until early morning,the rope-cots ...the yearning for summer holidays.
I really donno if the next generation would even get to have a tinge of the kind of fun I had during my child hood.With time everything is just moving towards modernity...far from simplicity.. day by day.
As I see myself..I belong to the priviledged lot who got to taste the traditional and technological flavours of life.
On my part , I m in the process of collecting recipes of traditional sweets and savouries , that I can share with the generations to come.
Then again I tell myself itz the tendency to resist change that I m expressing as my fondness to the past.What a complex specimen I ve become...to think on why I think the way I think?!!!
Just one more thing before I sign-off..ppl if you have recipes of traditional sweets , savouries or cuisine please do share it.
Until we meet...keep drinking life:-)

Another home-coming : PART II

New year's day was yet another adventurous day for me...happily drove people crazy.Another feather in my hat was the double-layered cake , a chocolate and vanilla, that I successfully baked :-)
New beginnings bring new hope ...a strange peace and assurance that things will be fine hereon ...from the very moment.For that I like people, things, experiences anew.
I see them as opportunities to introspect (one word that I fell short of), rediscover , grow .
"When the student is ready , the teacher would appear".
This is one of my favorite quotes and I somehow feel itz so true even with life...when we are prepared , our path is made vivid and things just fall in place so marvellously well.This is one of the universal truths that I stumbled upon ...more so.. was prepared to get stumbled upon I guess :-)
No New year's resolutions this time (nothing I remember ):p
Told myself that I would not confine divinity to places - my innovative excuse for not going to places of worship.
The days that followed..infact 2 months (Feb and March) was heck of a time...loads of work to do,people, attitudes to confront, that I can hardly remember anything I can remember of to blog.But now, that all of those belong to the past , I feel I did handle them pretty well.May be I could have done them much better with less of cribbing ... I am just learning!!
Got yet another thought that struck me from the plane of my brain .That, I ll share with you in my next blog...
Take care until then...keep smilin...

A thank you note

Opening up to all existing possibilities can itself lead to an astounding revelation.Today I chose to to do things which meant to me on a personal sense rather than the ones I force myself to do for a cause-effect outcome.
I spoke to frenz, listened to my favourite numbers, surfed the net , explored wikipaedia ...and then got to step in to a couple of blogs.I simply cannot stop being amused at the idea of whopping number of creative existences!!!
Blogs , I believe are the most amazing things that the internet has to offer , opening up the vistas of minds, creating space to breathe creativity ...the discussions, the stories, the lessons, the facts, the dreams and fantasies of unknown faces...the hoard of knowledge and experiences that are being shared across distances.Every blog I read , the richer I grow with experience.It is almost like someone else is living....just to make my life richer and better.
For all those who are making my life better...blogging and otherwise...thank you!!!

Another home-coming : PART I

Its a long long time since I inked my thoughts.....more so... since I thought. Life s been keeping me frenzy with me juggling many a thing..that I hardly kept any count.
This blog is about making up...for all those faded memories,unregistered thoughts, sweet happenings, sweeter nothings....all that had eluded from getting blogged.
I ll start off with an occasion...not just another occasion ...but a very special day for me and more so for all the people whoz life I ve entered ...and made a complete mess :p
Kudos if you guessed it right..my B Day!!!
This B day was very very different from the ones I used to have...not just that I m another year wiser...but for the new people...newer places and in fact a newer life.The dawn rose with a medley of emotions which I shall not try to explain.I shall simply put it as a 'not-so-good'.
My thanks to all those calls , wishes and gifts...special thanks to Peeps for the beautiful bouquet...it turned me red...literally.Ventured out on my own to attend a friend's wedding.Came back and plopped on the couch and settled for a sweet slumber.
Dropped in at Gee 's place...went on a whirly shopping , had my share of fun-for-the day , was brooding over why things were the way they were... and then that was that .
The day was just not my day....who cares..I have an entire year ahead :- )
The day reminded me of this quote,
"Change is the only permanent thing".

End of PART I.